Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The plans below illustrates public park first opened in 1920 and the same park today , their's addition of some new facilities and play area for children's as well.In this essay we are going to describe the the both old and new plans of Grange park.

firstly In 1920 there is not much facilities are avaliable there is two main entrance for public and the fountain is right in the middle of the park their's capucal of sitting are avaliable of public furthurmore,stage for musicians is right next to the fountain. whoever , the park has three rose garden one is lift side of the pound where water used for plants. Glasshouse is right side of the entrance in the south.

In the other hand today's park their is more developed their's a cafe when you enter in the park from north side and children's play are is right next to it .There is a rose garden in the middle of the park and sitting is around the garden for everyone.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to describe the changes shown in the two maps of Grange Park, noting key features such as the entrance, fountain, rose gardens, and new additions like the café and children's play area. However, the task achievement is significantly limited by weak overall structure, a lack of an overview, and a somewhat informal, conversational tone (e.g., 'In this essay we are going to describe...'). Furthermore, some spatial descriptions are vague or inaccurate, such as 'lift side of the pound', failing to fully and clearly report all the main features and comparisons as required by the prompt. Consequently, this performance aligns closely with Band 5 descriptors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into three paragraphs, providing a basic framework for an introduction and two body paragraphs comparing the past and present. However, logical progression is weak, and cohesive devices are inadequate, inaccurate, or overused, with frequent run-on sentences and punctuation errors (e.g., 'In the other hand today's park their is more developed...'). Paragraphing is poorly handled, and referencing across sentences is often unclear, resulting in a disjointed reading experience that fits Band 5.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The student uses a very limited and repetitive vocabulary, struggling with basic word choices and spelling throughout the text (e.g., 'capucal', 'sitting', 'avaliable', 'pound', 'furthurmore', 'whoever'). There are noticeable errors in word forms and collocations, such as 'there is not much facilities are avaliable' and 'lift side'. While common park-related terms like 'rose garden', 'fountain', and 'cafe' are present, the overall lexical range is minimally adequate at best, resulting in frequent errors that cause some difficulty for the reader and warrant a Band 4.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak throughout the response, featuring a very limited range of structures and frequent, heavy errors. The text contains numerous run-on sentences joined by commas instead of proper conjunctions or full stops (e.g., '...first opened in 1920 and the same park today , their's addition of some new facilities...'). There are persistent errors with subject-verb agreement ('there is not much facilities are avaliable'), pronoun usage ('their's'), and tense consistency. Complex sentences are rarely attempted successfully, and errors frequently impede understanding, placing this firmly in Band 4.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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