Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-23
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The figure that's given below is the comparision of park that how's it look today vs how it was in the 1920. Starting from the Rose garden we have Rose garden in both park but in the 1920 we have seats in the surronding of the garden. Going further on the left side of the entrance we have a second Rose garden in the past but currently we have cafe on that place along with the rose garden in past we have also a pond for water plants but know ita a childerns playing area moving forward in history we have stage for musicians in middle right of the park which is now the amphitheatre for concerts in the exact mid of the park we have fountain in the 1920 but if we see currently its a Rose garden with seats on every side of the park from the eldon street entry we saw a water feature now but it was a glasshouse previously and if we talk about the left side of the eldon street entrance in the past we have Rose garden and seats nearby but currently its an empty space there
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response attempts to describe the changes to Grange Park between 1920 and today, noting several key alterations such as the replacement of the fountain with a rose garden, the addition of a café, and the construction of an amphitheatre. However, the student fails to provide a clear overall overview or summary of the main trends, which is a core requirement for Academic Task 1. Furthermore, there are several descriptive inaccuracies regarding spatial locations, such as claiming there is an empty space on the left side of the Eldon Street entrance when the plan shows a water feature and underground car park entrance. The information is presented without clear selection or structuring, leading to a partial and somewhat confused treatment of the visual data. Therefore, the task achievement is limited.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The essay is written as a single, uninterrupted, run-on paragraph without any division into paragraphs or adequate punctuation. Sentences are strung together using repetitive conjunctions and conversational transitions such as 'Going further on the left side', 'moving forward in history', and 'if we see currently'. There is a complete lack of paragraphing, and cohesive devices are either absent or rudimentary. While the text follows a sequential spatial path around the park, the overall organization and logical progression are severely hampered by the lack of sentence boundaries, punctuation, and structural signposts, resulting in a confusing read for the examiner.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic, repetitive, and informal. The student relies heavily on simple words and phrases such as 'park', 'rose garden', 'seats', 'place', and 'past'. There are noticeable spelling errors ('comparision', 'surronding', 'know', 'ita', 'childerns') and word-choice inaccuracies, such as using 'history' to refer to geographical locations on a map. While the vocabulary is adequate to convey the most basic elements of the task, the limited range and frequent lexical and spelling errors mean the response falls short of Band 5.5 descriptors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The grammatical range is extremely limited, characterized by a complete absence of punctuation such as full stops, commas, or capitalisation. The entire response consists of one long, run-on sentence connected by conjunctions like 'and' and 'but'. There are frequent structural errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'The figure that's given below is the comparision of park that how's it look today vs how it was in the 1920.' Because of the total neglect of basic sentence boundaries, punctuation, and grammatical structure, the control of grammar is weak and causes significant difficulty for the reader.
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