Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In some university students want to learn other subject in their addition to leran their main subject,whether on the other hand some people believes to give important to their main subject or study. Both point are right but my opinion is that people gives the importance to their main subject.

First of all, the people who gives the attention to their main subject they are succseed in their life and got good results because, they totally pay ther attention to their main subject. They are not to do anything which divert their attention. They totally pay hard work to their main subject which get the good marks and they totally engagge with their subject and got succeed in their life.

On the other hand, the people who are intersted in other activities or learn the other subjects they are dstracked from their path and never achieve their goals. The people who are not serious in their life and they dont know what plan would they have to choose in their life they are always fail in life. Fore example, the people who are know the direction they achieve their goals and they are always consistent in life as cpmared to those people who never know what they learn in their life to gets the success.

In my opinion, people always chooses the right path because they are the direction in which they are travel but, if we dont pay the attention to main subject we loss our detrimination and aim in life.

In conclusion, bo

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a position—“my opinion is that people gives the importance to their main subject”—and give reasons for prioritising a qualification, such as maintaining focus and achieving good results. However, the task asks you to discuss both views, and the case for studying additional subjects is not genuinely explained; it is mainly described as a distraction. The examples are also general rather than specific, and several claims, such as that students interested in other subjects “never achieve their goals,” are not supported. The conclusion is incomplete (“In conclusion, bo”), so it does not clearly restate your view or bring the discussion to a close. Develop a fair reason for each position, support them with a relevant example, and finish with a complete conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an opening, two body paragraphs introduced by “First of all” and “On the other hand,” and an attempted conclusion. These markers help signal the intended direction of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is weak: the first body paragraph repeats the idea of paying attention to the main subject several times, while the second shifts between other subjects, life planning, and achieving goals without clear links. Some connections are difficult to follow, as in “they are the direction in which they are travel.” The final paragraph stops abruptly, leaving the essay without a completed ending. Organise each paragraph around one distinct reason, use clear references to connect ideas, and ensure the conclusion completes the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “main subject,” “attention,” “goals,” and “qualification,” so the general topic is identifiable. However, the range is basic and repetitive, with “main subject,” “attention,” and “life” recurring frequently. Several word choices or combinations are unclear or unnatural, such as “pay hard work,” “loss our detrimination,” and “people who are know the direction.” Spelling errors—including “succseed,” “intersted,” and “dstracked”—also make the text harder to read. Build a more precise set of phrases for discussing academic choices, such as “broaden their knowledge” and “focus on their degree requirements,” and check spelling and collocations during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer sentences and use basic linking structures, including “because” and “who,” but control is limited. Errors in agreement and verb forms occur repeatedly: “some people believes,” “people gives,” and “they are travel.” Sentence construction is often faulty, as in “In some university students want to learn other subject in their addition to leran their main subject,” which makes the opening difficult to understand. Articles, plurals, and punctuation are also inconsistent, and the final sentence is unfinished. These problems sometimes obscure the intended relationships between ideas. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using one clear subordinate clause at a time; check subject–verb agreement and complete every sentence.

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