Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-16
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Many university students desire is to learn ~~additional~~ subjects as a main subject while, others student believe that ~~more~~ give their time and attention to achieve qualification. This essay will discuss both views.
On the one hand, there are several reasons to stick with student desire to achieve their goal by learning additional subjects as as their main subject. Sometimes ~~some~~ student ~~take~~ takes an additional subject as ~~a~~ mind change. There are following reason of that maybe they want to build their ~~to~~ carrier ~~other~~ in that field or maybe its been an hobby to read the subject or they find it interesting. It leads to various student can participate in following activities. For instance, a group of medical student have an interest ~~in~~ in the fashion designing. In addition sometimes parents put pressure ~~on~~ in their child, to learn the particular subject they want. It leads to feeling ~~more~~ detach, dissapainting and depression in the children.
On the other hand, some ~~peopel~~ schlars hold a beliave that ~~-but~~ more ~~support~~ effort & time an their studies, ~~does~~ den't affect attention other subjects. ~~Or do~~ Moreover, students time to give distracted by taking part in other activities. It result ~~o~~ they loose their ~~interest an the~~ focus on what they want to achieve. It ~~does~~ leads to more depression & anxiety. For example : A medical student loose their focus ~~on~~ on medical field because their interest is an other activies.
In canculsion, weather, some students ~~can not~~ learn other subject with their main subject however I believe that ~~not~~ all people mind is ~~not~~ similar. Some student should desperate with their ~~goal~~ qualification and firstly achieve their goals, then other activities should ~~be do~~ done.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views on whether university students should study additional subjects or focus solely on their main qualification, and the student provides a clear personal opinion in the conclusion. However, the ideas are often underdeveloped, repetitive, and lack sufficient supporting evidence. For instance, the discussion on parental pressure and distraction is stated rather than logically extended and supported. Because the arguments remain somewhat limited and unclear at times, the performance aligns best with Band 5.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into four paragraphs, including an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which shows an awareness of structural conventions. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by awkward transitions, mechanical cohesive devices (such as repeating 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' without clear relational flow), and confusing phrasing. Referencing is often unclear, such as pronoun use referring back to vague concepts. Overall arrangement exists, but the faulty cohesion and lack of clear overall progression place this submission at Band 5.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The student displays a limited and minimally adequate vocabulary range, frequently relying on basic words and phrases ('learning additional subjects', 'achieve their goals'). There are noticeable word choice and collocation errors throughout the text, such as 'carrier' instead of career, 'dissapainting', 'schlars', 'beliave', and 'canculsion'. These errors, alongside frequent spelling mistakes and awkward phrasing like 'mind change' or 'hobby to read', cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the text from reaching a Band 6.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex sentences that are almost universally faulty. The text contains frequent, dense errors in tense, subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'student takes', 'medical student loose'), and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or ungrammatical, such as 'It leads to various student can participate in following activities' and 'weather, some students can not learn other subject with their main subject however I believe that not all people mind is not similar.' These frequent errors cause considerable difficulty for the reader, fitting the Band 4 descriptor.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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