Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Few university pupils want to study extra curricular things in addition to their major syllabus while others suggests that it is crucial to study only degree syllabus keenly. In contemporary society, both are mendatory to each other, degree is just a piece of paper without skills. In this essay, I will elaborate both views by giving reasons and examples.

On the one hand, people believe that learning skills other than syllabus is beneficial in long term like they get job opportunities on the basis of these skills or knowledge. Moreover, they can satisfy their mental thurst by getting extra knowledge about anything they are interested. These entusiastic activities aid in cognitive development by not sticking only to main subjects. For instance, if a person does activities other than its core subjects, he learn exsxtra skills and practical knowledge which he further utilized in his syllabus also.

On the other hand, most individuals believe that studing syllabus subjects solely without spending any time on extra activities is more significant and necessary for them. By giving time to other things can divert attention from main subjects which perhaps further damage their memory or skills in future. For instance, if a student is preparing for competitive exams and he likes to play bedminton daily for two hours; he might be distracted and wil be less enthusiastic towards its major subjects as compared to a student who study only his exams books.

In my opinion, extra curricular activities should be incleded in addition to main subjects because it enhance not only our intellectual ability but our physical health also, because if we only study main subjects, we will quickly fed up and mentaly absent.

In conclusion, main subjects should be more concern by not forgetting the benefits of extra subjects or books.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both views and give a clear opinion: the first body paragraph explains the benefits of learning beyond a degree, while the second presents the concern that other activities may distract from qualification study. Your position in favour of extracurricular learning is also stated directly. These points are relevant, but some are not fully developed. For example, the claim that extra activities create job opportunities would be stronger with a specific example, and the badminton example illustrates possible distraction without explaining how students could balance competing demands. The conclusion also shifts towards saying main subjects should receive greater concern, which makes your final position less consistent with your earlier support for additional learning. Clarify this balance and extend key examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, your opinion, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the discussion. However, some connections are mechanical, and the progression within paragraphs is not always smooth. The opening claim that both views are “mandatory to each other” is unclear, and the final paragraph’s emphasis on main subjects does not connect cleanly with your stated preference for extracurricular activities. Some references, such as “these skills” and “other things,” are broad. Use more precise links between claims and examples, and make the conclusion restate your position consistently.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “cognitive development,” “job opportunities,” “competitive exams,” and “intellectual ability.” This gives you some useful variety, but inaccurate word choice, collocation, and spelling are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause. Examples include “pupils” for university students, “extra curricular things,” “mental thurst,” “entusiastic activities,” and “fed up.” Several expressions are also imprecise, such as “degree is just a piece of paper without skills.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than using ambitious terms whose form or meaning is uncertain. Proofread spelling and choose vocabulary that clearly expresses the intended academic idea.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “while,” “because,” and “if,” and the main ideas are generally understandable. However, some errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction remain. For example, “others suggests” should have a plural verb, “he learn” needs subject–verb agreement, and “it enhance” should agree with its subject. In “By giving time to other things can divert attention,” the sentence lacks a clear grammatical subject. The conditional example also shifts between “a student,” “he,” and “its,” making the reference inconsistent. Review agreement and build each sentence around a clear subject and verb; this will make your complex ideas more controlled.

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