Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects.Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.In this essay,I willdiscuss both perspective and give my own opinion.

On the one hand some universiry studentsbwant to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects has numerous beneficial .an effects their knowledge and skills.this has improve their study and providing higher education.Every people should learn their main subjects because it should find good opportunities and their interest that subjects they progress future.some candidate learn want to their main subjects when they feel they are subjects enhance their goals also addition only that subjects others subjects careless than main subjects.

On the other hand,Some people believe thet it is more important to give all their times and attention to studying for a qualification.it is more significant for students lives.If many candidate spend tehir time only study they can good qualification also they can progress any problem when they learn new skills and find good facilities.Their time so important gain qualityfies skills.In addition their time and subjects.however gives more subjects knowledge also find jobs any sectors.

In my opinion,while both views are important,some university should in addition their main subjects and their time attention to studying for a qualification.They can solved any problem such as education.However,education should not affects their study and others facilities.

To conclude,addition main subjects and time attention are both best way for students to create a better future and developed their habit.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You attempt to discuss both views and give an opinion, and the essay has a relevant focus on students’ studies and future opportunities. However, the discussion is very limited: the benefits of studying other subjects are not clearly explained, while the qualification-focused view is also difficult to follow. Your opinion—“some university should in addition their main subjects”—does not clearly state which approach you support. The conclusion repeats the two options without resolving them. The response contains 209 words, so it is 41 words below the required minimum; 52 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. This shortfall leaves little room to explain reasons or provide relevant examples. Develop each view with a clear reason and a specific example, then state your position directly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs beginning “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” an opinion paragraph, and a conclusion. These signposts help readers identify the intended stages of the discussion. However, progression within the paragraphs is often unclear because ideas are placed together without a clear relationship. For example, “their interest that subjects they progress future” is difficult to connect to the preceding point. Linking words such as “In addition” and “however” are used, but sometimes the connection they signal is unclear or contradictory. To improve, organise each body paragraph around one main claim, explain it in a logical sequence, and use pronouns and linking phrases only when their references and relationships are clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “qualification,” “skills,” “knowledge,” “opportunities,” and “future.” These words show an attempt to discuss education and employment. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and inaccurate word choice or word forms often make the meaning hard to understand. Phrases such as “good facilities,” “qualityfies skills,” and “addition main subjects” do not express the intended ideas clearly; spelling errors such as “universiry” and “tehir” also reduce clarity. Aim to learn common academic collocations and check spelling and word forms. For instance, describe the benefits of broader study as “develop transferable skills” or “gain a broader knowledge base,” rather than relying on repeated references to “subjects” and “skills.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt a few longer structures, including “while both views are important” and a conditional sentence beginning “If many candidate spend…”. However, sentence structures are very limited overall, and frequent errors in sentence formation, agreement, verb forms, articles, and punctuation can distort meaning. For example, “some university should” lacks a clear plural or article, while “they can solved” uses an incorrect verb form. The opening also runs words and sentences together: “subjects.Others” and “essay,I”. Many clauses lack a complete, clear grammatical structure, as in “their interest that subjects they progress future.” Practise writing accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses using “because,” “while,” and “if.” Check each sentence for a subject, a correctly formed verb, and appropriate punctuation.

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