Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this contemporary era, Knowledge and skills play an important role for the holistical development of the children. and the childrens are also well known abot that So they want to enhance their skills while studing by adding addition subjects to tjer main course, While others reject this viewpoint . This essay will puts the limelight on both prespective with real world examples and after that reach at the well balanced conclusion.

On the one hand, there are myraid of factors that illustrats that vocational courses offers numerious benefits to the childrens . the first and the formost one is that it foster creativity amonge learners. for instance one who learn music and art related subject that inhance the creativity in students.Another key advandantage is that it helps to develop social skills that are reguired for coperate enventerment. for example dance and drama or other addtion subjects develop commination and team building skills and also improve the confidance in young people.Morover students learn copperation , social behaviour and intraction.

On the otherhand , People how assert that studing is important and give ther full time to subject courses are give folling reasons the primary one is that it readuce the time . for exaple student waist the large amount of time in learing music and are becouse there skills required time and practice ,as a result students waste large time in others activity that reduce the study time that will affect the academic performance. An other factor is that is divert the concentrtion between students . even some students lost focus on ther important subject to show their creativity in other addition subjects.

To conclude that adtition subjects offers lots of benefits such as build confidance, enhance commition skills but its negative affects can not be negalectes means it distract the students at reduce the focus and required lot of time to learn. so i beleave that a balnce approach is a practical decision bect both are required for the holicitacal developent of the youth. both therotical and practical subject are imporant for overall development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a clear final view: additional subjects can build confidence and communication skills, while focusing on a qualification can protect study time and concentration. These are relevant reasons, and the examples of music, art, dance and drama help illustrate them. However, the discussion is unevenly developed. The benefits are listed more than explained, and the argument about academic focus would be stronger with a specific example of how competing commitments affect a student’s results. Your conclusion supports a balanced approach, but it could state more precisely how students should balance the two priorities. Develop each main idea with a clearer explanation and a concrete example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. The signposts “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “To conclude” make the direction of the discussion easy to follow. Within paragraphs, however, ideas sometimes feel like lists rather than a connected line of reasoning. For example, the first body paragraph moves from creativity to social skills and then cooperation without clearly showing how each point supports the argument. Some linking is also mechanical, and references such as “it” in the second body paragraph are not always immediately clear. Use topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to the point it illustrates.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “creativity,” “social skills,” “academic performance,” and “concentration,” and you use some less common expressions such as “well-balanced conclusion.” However, spelling errors and inaccurate word forms are noticeable throughout, including “myraid,” “advandantage,” “commication,” and “confidance.” Some combinations are also unnatural or unclear, such as “coperate enventerment” and “show their creativity in other addition subjects,” which can make the reader pause to interpret your meaning. Build accuracy by checking spelling and choosing familiar collocations before attempting more elaborate phrasing. For instance, “develop communication and teamwork skills” is clearer and more natural than the wording in your example.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer, complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “while,” “because,” and “as a result.” This gives the response some structural variety. However, control is inconsistent: several sentences contain errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, or sentence boundaries. For example, “vocational courses offers” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “This essay will puts” uses an incorrect verb form. The opening also joins sentence fragments with punctuation, and some long sentences run together, making relationships between ideas harder to follow. Practise checking one sentence at a time for a clear subject and verb, correct agreement, and appropriate punctuation; this will make your complex structures easier to understand.

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