Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In todays fast-paced world, education has become increasingly widespread. Although some university students want to learn about other subjects in adition to their main subjects while others believe it is more essential to provide all their time and attention to study for a qualification. This essay will dicuss both views my opinion is that student learn about main subjects.

On the one hand some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects now a days school should main subjects because it help to gain knowledge in medical feild most of students start studying from 9 class to pass thier entrance exam and they only focus on main subjects such as Biology, Chemistry and Physics. for example those students gets degree and jobs they are stable in future becuase they knowledge in their feild.

On the other hand others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. although students are focus studying for a qualification because most of students father have business, yet they sit there father businesses and improve their knowledge about business such as rise factory. for instance most of the children sit there father business becuase after some her son deal with dealer and they sail rise esily.

In conclusion, some students learn about other subjects in additon to their main subjects while others believe it is more important to give all thier time and attention to studying for a qualification in my opinion `students should focus on there main subjects to make better future

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You attempt to discuss both views and state an opinion, but the response only minimally addresses the question. The opening says your opinion is that students should learn about “main subjects,” and the conclusion repeats that they should focus on them; however, this does not clearly answer whether students should also study other subjects. The body paragraphs give examples about medical students and family businesses, but the explanations are difficult to follow and do not clearly compare the benefits of broader study with concentrating on a qualification. The response is also 48 words below the 250-word minimum; the 60 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop each view with a clear reason and a relevant, explained example, then state your position precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs beginning “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. These markers help signal the intended discussion. However, progression within the paragraphs is difficult to follow because several ideas are joined without clear relationships. For example, the first body paragraph moves from school subjects to medical entrance exams and future jobs, while the second shifts from qualifications to fathers’ businesses and rice sales. The conclusion largely repeats the introduction rather than drawing the discussion together. Use one main point per paragraph, explain how each example supports it, and use full stops and clear referencing to make the sequence easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “qualification,” “main subjects,” “entrance exam,” and “degree,” and you attempt to refer to specific fields and work. However, the range is basic and several word choices or spellings make meaning unclear, such as “rise factory,” “sail rise,” and “they knowledge in their feild.” Repetition of “students,” “subjects,” and “business” also limits precision. Choose vocabulary that accurately expresses the intended idea, and check spelling carefully; for instance, explain the business example with familiar terms rather than unclear phrases. Building a small set of accurate expressions for discussing academic breadth, specialisation, career prospects, and practical skills would make your argument clearer and more appropriate to the task.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer structures, including the opening contrast with “Although” and the sentence beginning “because,” but control is inconsistent. Many sentences lack clear grammatical boundaries or have incomplete structures: “Although some university students want to learn … while others believe…” is not completed as a well-formed main clause, and “In conclusion, some students learn … while others believe…” runs into the opinion without clear punctuation. Agreement and verb forms are also problematic in “those students gets degree” and “they only focus.” Use a reliable pattern for each view, such as a clear topic sentence followed by a complete explanation, and check subject–verb agreement, articles, and sentence endings. These changes would make your meaning easier to understand.

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