Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In this essay we discuss about the students that learn other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Most of student of the university student learn more knowledge to other subjects. most students believe it is more important to give time and attention for the qualification. In my knowledge or experience students want to learn knowledge anywhere and focus to their main subjects.

On the one hand, in my opinion most of university students try to gain the knowledge from other subjects I think every student try to gain the knowledge of every subjects but firstly he concentrate to its main subjects. Most students believe to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification because the students focus on the other subjects and do not give attention on its main subjects so, he failed in his subject.

On the other hand,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies the topic and briefly mentions both views: students may gain knowledge from other subjects, while focusing on a qualification may protect their performance in their main subject. However, it does not adequately discuss both positions or give a clear, consistent opinion. The opening is difficult to interpret, and the claim that students want to learn “anywhere” does not explain the writer’s view. The second body paragraph begins with “On the other hand,” but contains no discussion, so a major part of the task is missing. No relevant example is developed. The response is also 124 words, below the required 250-word minimum; this leaves too little space to address the task meaningfully. Develop each view, state your position clearly, and support it with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response with an introduction and a body paragraph, and “On the one hand” signals a contrast. However, progression is difficult to follow because ideas are repeated or placed together without clear explanation. For example, the opening moves from students learning other subjects to the claim that most students prioritise qualifications, without showing how these points relate. The paragraph beginning “On the one hand” also shifts from the writer’s opinion to the opposing view, making the argument’s direction unclear. The final transition, “On the other hand,” is left unfinished. Use one paragraph for each view, connect each claim to its explanation, and complete the essay with a conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a small set of relevant terms, including “subjects,” “knowledge,” “qualification,” and “attention,” so the general topic can be recognised. However, vocabulary is repetitive and several combinations are unnatural or unclear, such as “gain the knowledge from other subjects,” “give attention on its main subjects,” and “learn knowledge anywhere.” These choices make it harder to understand the intended meaning precisely. There is also little range for discussing benefits, drawbacks, or academic priorities. Build a topic-specific vocabulary and learn common word partnerships, such as “broaden their knowledge,” “focus on their degree,” and “balance competing demands.” This would make the argument clearer and less repetitive.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple and longer sentences, including a reason introduced by “because,” and the main topic is generally identifiable. However, control is inconsistent. Examples include “Most of student” and “Most students believe to give,” where the noun form or verb pattern is faulty, and “every student try,” where subject–verb agreement is incorrect. Pronoun reference also shifts between “students,” “he,” and “its,” as in “he concentrate to its main subjects,” making the subject unclear. Sentence boundaries and punctuation need attention, particularly in the long sentence beginning “On the one hand.” Practise accurate agreement, articles and plural forms, and use shorter, complete sentences before attempting more complex structures.

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