Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, an increasing number of universities students are interested in studying additional subjects alondside their major field of study. While some people argue that students should concentrate exclusively on their primary degree, others belive that additional subjects can broaden their knowledge and improve their career prospects. In my opinion, studying additional subjects has positive and negative aspects.

On the one hand, studying additional subjects has broaden the thoughts and views. For example, If the student has knowledge about extra subjects such as technology and politics could raise his voice about his rights. If he has extra knowledge about sports he could play sports, if he gained knowlege about languages, he could understand an coversation.

On the other hand, it has several drawbacks. Firstly, itcan createan excessive academic workload, leaving students with limited time to concentrate on the major subject. Secondly, studying unrelated subjects can increase stress and pressure. Students may find it difficult to manage different tasks. Students could not balance both subjects.

Additionally, some poor students have not enough money to pay the fee of both subjects. Resultantly, they failed in both subjects. These students could not decide that what profession they have to choose.

In conclusion, although concentrating on a single subject allows students to develop specialised knowledge, studying additional diciplines can provide valuable skills and broaden their career oppourtunities. I firmly believe that universities should encourage students to explore other subjects in free time while ensring that their primary education remain the main subject.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both views and give a clear preference for allowing students to explore other subjects, especially in the conclusion. However, the discussion is only partly developed: the benefits are illustrated with brief examples about technology, politics, sports and languages, but their connection to university study or career outcomes is not explained. The drawbacks—workload, stress and fees—are relevant, yet the claim that students may fail both subjects and struggle to choose a profession needs clearer reasoning or an example. Your opening says there are positive and negative aspects, but does not clearly state your position until the conclusion. The response is also three words below the required minimum. Develop fewer points more fully and state your view clearly in the introduction.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the main stages. Within paragraphs, however, progression is sometimes uneven. The examples about sports and languages are listed without showing how they support the argument, while the drawbacks move from workload to stress, fees and career choice with limited links between them. Some connections are also unclear, as in “Resultantly, they failed in both subjects,” where the cause-and-effect relationship is asserted rather than explained. Group related points and use clearer references and transitions to show how each example supports the paragraph’s main idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “primary degree,” “academic workload,” “specialised knowledge,” and “career opportunities,” which helps communicate the subject. There are also attempts at less common phrasing, such as “broaden their knowledge” and “manage different tasks.” However, spelling errors are noticeable, including “alondside,” “belive,” “knowlege,” “diciplines,” and “oppourtunities.” Some word choices and collocations are awkward or imprecise: “has broaden the thoughts and views” and “raise his voice about his rights” do not express the intended academic ideas naturally. Build a more accurate range of collocations for discussing education and benefits, and proofread spelling carefully; these changes would make your meaning more precise and fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex forms, including a contrast clause beginning “While some people argue…” and a concession in the conclusion beginning “although concentrating on a single subject…”. These structures show some range, and the main argument is generally understandable. However, several sentence patterns are faulty. For example, “If the student has knowledge … could raise his voice” lacks a clear subject in the main clause, and “If he has extra knowledge about sports he could play sports” needs clearer punctuation and a more logical conditional relationship. There are also errors in verb forms and agreement, such as “studying additional subjects has broaden” and “their primary education remain.” Practise complete conditional sentences and check subject–verb agreement and verb forms during editing.

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