Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation.

Why might this be the case?

What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There is a considerable debates whether people should their own business or work in any organisation. People prefer to start their business rather than to work in a company. This essay will discuss the causes of this development and disadvantages of being self-employed.

There are many causes why people start their own business. first and foremost, salaries are low in companies. After getting degree, individual is unable to meet the expenses of their family. this force people to begin their own busniess. futhermore, people need fexilbility in their working hours and want time to relax. This things is not provide in companies. For example, a person goes to office at early morning and retern at late night. he spend little time with family. Along with that if people do not work due to illness, pay would reduce. This kind of difficultes force to start their own shops instead of working with other. Therefore, people can easily fullfil their living expenses with fexilibilty.

On the other hand, self business of every person create various disadvantages. It increases the competition among members of society. People feel stress how to put their business at higher position and gain more customers. Apart form that, the value of organisational jobs is decline. They face crisis due to the lack of professional person in company. As a result, society goes to wrong direction and people need are not fulfill that create cataphoric atmophere.

Wrapping up this write-up, the thinking process of people has been changed for few decades. Regardless of many facilities, everyone want to start the own business because of better financial condition. This approach is curcial for better lifestyle but this genrates various obstacles for society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both questions and give a relevant overall explanation: low salaries, limited flexibility, and family time are offered as reasons for self-employment, while competition and pressure to attract customers are presented as disadvantages. However, the disadvantages are less fully explained than the reasons. The claim that organisational jobs lose value and companies face a shortage of professionals is asserted, but the link to wider social harm is unclear. Your conclusion also introduces “better financial condition” without showing how this follows from the earlier points. Develop each main idea with a clearer explanation or a specific example, and make your position on the effects of self-employment more consistent.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph explaining reasons, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. This makes the main stages easy to identify. You also use signposting such as “On the other hand” and “For example.” However, some links are mechanical or do not show the relationship between ideas precisely. For instance, “Along with that” introduces a point about illness and reduced pay, while “Therefore” leads to a claim about meeting living expenses that is not clearly supported. The final paragraph repeats the general idea of starting a business rather than drawing together the two sides. Use clearer references and connect each consequence directly to its supporting reason.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “self-employed,” “flexibility,” “competition,” “customers,” and “professional.” However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts of the argument difficult to understand. Phrases such as “self business,” “put their business at higher position,” and “people need are not fulfill” do not express the intended meaning naturally. Spelling errors, including “fexilbility,” “difficultes,” and “cataphoric,” also reduce clarity. Build a bank of accurate phrases for discussing employment and business, and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary would help you explain the social disadvantages without relying on vague claims.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex sentences, for example, “After getting degree, individual is unable to meet the expenses of their family,” and use conditional structures such as “if people do not work due to illness, pay would reduce.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and verb forms frequently affect readability. Examples include “There is a considerable debates,” “This things is not provide,” and “everyone want to start the own business.” Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, particularly at the beginnings of sentences. Practise forming accurate subject–verb patterns and checking articles and plurals, then use complex clauses only when you can control their grammar.

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