Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation.

Why might this be the case?

What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This days; it has been generally believed that people more interested to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organization because in this period people has lot's of attitude towards the work and they think to become self-employed rather than working other company or organization.

To begin; one of the merits of this is that,It was a big case due to younger thinks they can build their own company or organization. For instance; youngers can handle their own parents business by self-employed and they will not take a business as a serious matter. Meanwhile, it will caused whole company with their employeed as well as fully damaged on their organization also. For example, people choose to be self-employed but they can not learn or gain extra knowledge and ideas from other people and it will not progess with one person ideas. Futhermore, it should also be noted that without gaining ideas and inspiration from other top business people it will not make progess on your company or organization.

In contrast, by being self-employe it might be developed more disadvantege on their personal life as well as professional life also.Sometimes, people should faced more problems and stress through financial to begin self-employed. For example, they can cooperate and maintain balanced on relationship. It seems to me that these aspects should also be taken into consideration while judging the pors and cons.

In conclusion; It conclude that being self- employed on this generation make them well developed and it will help people through diffrent ways such as improved their confident level amd inspiried by diffrent most popular people and gain extra knowledge abou the things that you might known.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response attempts both questions: it mentions possible reasons for choosing self-employment, such as wanting to build a business, and disadvantages including financial stress and limited access to other people’s ideas. However, the discussion is often unclear or contradictory. The opening says people prefer self-employment because of their “attitude towards the work,” but does not explain what this means. The first body paragraph is introduced as a merit, yet mainly describes risks involving young people managing a family business. The disadvantages paragraph gives only brief, confusing support, and the conclusion focuses on benefits rather than clearly summarising both sides. Develop a direct reason for choosing self-employment and explain each disadvantage with a clear cause-and-effect example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic essay shape, with an opening, body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “To begin,” “In contrast” and “In conclusion” show an attempt to guide the reader. However, ideas are not arranged in a consistently logical progression, and the links between them are often unclear. For example, the paragraph beginning “To begin” shifts from young people building a company to damage caused by inexperienced management, then to the lack of ideas from other people. “In contrast” does not clearly connect the financial-stress point to the preceding discussion. Plan one main idea per paragraph, use linking expressions only when the relationship is clear, and make pronouns such as “they” refer unmistakably to a person or group.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some task-related vocabulary, including “self-employed,” “financial,” “inspiration,” “organization” and “professional life,” so the topic is generally identifiable. However, the range is basic and repeated, and inaccurate word choice or spelling sometimes makes meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “people has lot's of attitude,” “youngers,” “employeed,” “progess,” “disadvantege” and “pors and cons.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “make progess on your company” and “developed more disadvantage.” Build a reliable set of expressions for reasons and drawbacks, and check spelling and collocations. More precise wording would help distinguish benefits, risks, and the causes or consequences of each.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The essay attempts both simple and longer sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “while” and “that.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, verb forms, agreement, articles and punctuation frequently make the intended meaning hard to follow. For instance, “people more interested to be self-employed” lacks a correctly formed verb phrase, while “people has” and “it will caused” show agreement and verb-form problems. The sentence beginning “For example, they can cooperate and maintain balanced on relationship” is difficult to interpret because its grammatical relationships are unclear. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Check verb forms and agreement, and use full stops to separate complete ideas.

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