Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-08-16
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation.
Why might this be the case?
What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
At present, entrepreneurship and self-employment is highly respected and glorified because of the high difficulties that make person more independent alongside the highest return on investment of wealth in the money driven society. According to my perception, Self-employment should be highly respected in the society but self employment shouldn't be glorified because of the lowest possible rate of succession.
The combination of cases can be infinite and vary according to the individual. However, As per my view, The increment of popularity of self-employment is because of the romanticization of the independency alongside the publicization of the wealth and maintenance of lavish lifestyle in the modern era. For instance, Elon Musk is the wealthiest individual in the world and he is quite influential and active in the social media. So, people get influenced by his success being ignorant about the struggles he had to endure to be in that position.
The disadvantages can be observed clearly in the modern infrastructure because of the over supply of entrepreneur in the market. As per my observation, lack of workforce can be observed in the related position to run the economy and sustain the organization's infrastructure. Moreover, economy and financial infrastructure has been altered in an negative way because of the shortage of productivity in the modern markets.
In conclusion, Self-employment is not for every individual because of the problems that need to be tackled and investment of huge effort and time as per the lowest possible succession rate. It has impacted the firm in the negative way in terms of financial loss alongside the shortage of skilled individuals in the related position.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt, but the development is somewhat superficial. While you identify reasons for the rise of self-employment (romanticization of independence and wealth) and potential disadvantages (labor shortages and economic impact), the arguments lack depth and specific supporting evidence. The example of Elon Musk is relevant but not fully connected to the broader trend of self-employment. The conclusion introduces new ideas about 'financial loss' and 'shortage of skilled individuals' that were not fully explored in the body paragraphs. To improve, ensure each point is supported by a clear explanation or a more detailed example to demonstrate a more thorough understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'However,' 'For instance,' and 'Moreover,' which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or forced, such as 'The combination of cases can be infinite.' Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear; for example, in the third paragraph, it is not immediately obvious how the 'over supply of entrepreneur' directly causes a 'lack of workforce' in other sectors. Improving the logical flow between sentences and ensuring that cohesive devices are used to link ideas more naturally would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'entrepreneurship,' 'romanticization,' and 'infrastructure.' However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'rate of succession' (likely meaning 'success rate'), 'publicization of the wealth,' and 'altered in an negative way.' These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your argument. To reach a higher band, focus on using collocations more accurately and expanding your range of academic vocabulary to express complex ideas with greater nuance and fewer stylistic slips.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('entrepreneurship and self-employment is'), missing articles ('in the society'), and incorrect preposition usage ('in the related position'). Some sentences are also slightly clunky, such as 'the high difficulties that make person more independent.' While these errors rarely impede the overall meaning, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, particularly with articles and pluralization, will significantly improve your writing quality.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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