Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation.

Why might this be the case?

What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The plans below depict changes in a public park form 1920 to current era.

In 1920, a fountain was located in the centre of the park, and there were two entrance in the park. A pond was located in the northeast, which was used to water plants. Moreover, a stage for musicians was present in the west, and a glasshouse lied in the southeastern side of park. Seats were distributed in various direction of the park. Two rose gardens were evenly distributed in the park.

In contemporary society, several amendments have been made in the park. The rose garden is removed, and a cafe is built over there. Children's play area replaces the pond, and the stage for musicians is changed to an amphitheatre for concerts. Moreover, there is a large rose garden surrounded by seats. Water feature is located in the southeastern side of the park.

Overall, the park has undergone significant changes over the years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 2.0

The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks for an essay regarding the reasons for and disadvantages of self-employment (Academic Task 2), but the student has written a report describing a map of a park (Academic Task 1). Furthermore, the response is significantly under the 250-word minimum requirement, which severely limits the development of any relevant ideas. Because the response fails to address the task prompt entirely, it cannot be assessed for task achievement in relation to the actual question asked. This results in a very low score for this criterion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The text is organised into paragraphs, which provides a basic structure. There is some attempt at logical progression, moving from the 1920 description to the contemporary layout. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical, such as the repetitive use of 'Moreover' and 'In...'. While the sentences are linked, the lack of a clear introduction and conclusion related to the actual essay prompt makes the overall coherence weak. The paragraphing is appropriate for a report, but the content does not align with the task requirements.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for describing a map, with terms like 'amendments', 'distributed', and 'contemporary society'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'glasshouse lied' (should be 'lay') and 'various direction' (should be 'various directions'). The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive, which is expected given the short length of the response. To improve, the student should focus on using more precise descriptive language and ensuring correct word forms and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'A pond was located in the northeast, which was used to water plants.' There are several grammatical errors, including 'two entrance' (should be 'two entrances'), 'glasshouse lied' (should be 'lay'), and 'rose garden is removed' (should be 'has been removed' or 'was removed'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to demonstrate a lack of control over complex structures. Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the grammatical accuracy needs significant improvement.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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