Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-09-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation.

Why might this be the case?

What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company mostly people want to do their own business. because they want to earn much money.

In my country most of the people want to do their own business. because people could earn more money own their business as compared to work or job initially business could provide more benefit. but work or job do not have to earn much money due to their fix salary. Recently, I went to Shokat Khanam from Lahore I saw a lot of doctors. they were doing job in Shokat Khanam hospital they spend much of the time in hospital. but their salary was only forty thousand rupees only. On the other hand, business earn almost two to three lacs money. Government provides so many job, but their salary is too low it is very difficult to run the household because the salary is not enough to support the family as a result a lot of problem can face. In every month parents can pay fee for their son and buy a petrol for their bike and also purchase the glossary for their home, but their salary is to enough to support these things. as a result, it faces a lot of problem in every month. one of the major issues of their own business is that. Recently, Government asked that shops must close at 8 p.m. but people which had their own business they faced a lot of problem because their sales were too low. Additionally, those people who had teachers they have to get them their full money.

For my perspectives, both have advantages or disadvantages therefore, it depends upon the situation for our country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the task by discussing reasons for choosing self-employment (such as earning potential) and the disadvantages (such as low sales during restrictions). However, the development of ideas is limited and at times repetitive. For example, the financial comparison relies heavily on a single anecdote about doctors at Shokath Khanam Hospital, and the discussion of disadvantages abruptly shifts to government regulations on shop closing times without sufficient elaboration. The position is generally clear, but the lack of fully extended supporting arguments places this response firmly at Band 5.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

Coherence is significantly hindered by poor paragraphing and a lack of clear overall progression. The response is essentially structured as two massive blocks of text with minimal separation of distinct ideas. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or repetitively, such as the frequent over-use of transitional phrases like 'as a result' and 'on the other hand' which fail to establish logical links smoothly. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the train of thought. These issues align with the Band 4 and Band 5 descriptors.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with frequent lexical and collocation errors that impact clarity. Examples include 'earn much money' instead of 'earn a high income', 'fix salary' instead of 'fixed salary', and 'purchase the glossary' where the student likely meant 'groceries'. Terms like 'lacs' and local references are understandable but reflect limited control over formal academic vocabulary. The range is minimally adequate to convey basic points, but word choice inaccuracies prevent the achievement of a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The text displays a very limited range of structures, consisting mostly of simple and frequently faulty complex sentences. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('people which had their own business they faced'), incorrect preposition use ('earn more money own their business'), and sentence fragments or run-on sentences ('Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company mostly people want to do their own business. because they want to earn much money.'). Punctuation is also erratic. These persistent errors cause frequent strain for the reader.

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