Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation.

Why might this be the case?

What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

At present, numerous individuals believe that creating own business is better than to work for a company or organisation. In my opinion, this essay has many cases and drawbacks such as people cannot survival with enough money, on the negative side, they have a lot of pressure of the losses.

To begin with, the one firmly reason is that many company have strict rules and regulations, so most of individuals cannot follow this and also this duty time is very long. In addition, most people can want to start their own business because they have lack of money they cannot survival in the world because their income is very less and their outcome is very high. For instance, many employee have eight to ten houre services. As a result, they want to start our own work and spend these hours.

Furthermore, the drawback of this trend is that people can take a loan on the bank for their business. Although, they cannot understand business market,so they can massive loss on the business and they cannot understand what types of method can adopt can go ahead our business.If a men not understood business rules such as how to attract customer and how to provide good quality things so they cannot survival on the business and also they loss they company jobs.

In conclusion, the public are wanted to start a business to make our life easy and happy, however there is many drawback to leave job and start our own work. They can take a loan on bank, after loss they cannot earn this money, so it is very stressful life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both questions: you suggest that strict workplace rules and long hours encourage people to work for themselves, and you identify borrowing, business losses and stress as disadvantages. However, the response only partially develops these points. The explanation about low income and high expenses is difficult to connect to self-employment, and the example of employees working eight to ten hours does not clearly show why starting a business is preferable. Your position is also unclear in the opening, where “this essay has many cases and drawbacks” does not state a definite view. Explain each reason more directly and support it with a relevant, specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for reasons and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “To begin with,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” help signal these sections. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear: the first body paragraph moves from workplace rules to low income and then to working hours without showing how these ideas connect. Some links are inaccurate or awkward, such as “Although” introducing a clause that does not contrast with the previous point. References such as “our own work” and “they” are also unclear. Organise each paragraph around one main idea and use linking words and pronouns more precisely.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “strict rules and regulations,” “loan,” “business market,” “losses,” and “attract customer.” This shows an attempt to discuss employment and business, but the range is limited and several word choices or combinations make the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “creating own business,” “massive loss on the business,” and “spend these hours.” There are also word-form and spelling problems, such as “houre” and “employee” where a plural is needed. Build a more accurate set of collocations for this topic and check that each word expresses the intended relationship.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including a conditional structure in “If a men not understood business rules…” and a contrast in the conclusion. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction sometimes make the message hard to interpret. For example, “many company have” has incorrect agreement, while “they cannot survival” uses an incorrect verb form. The opening sentence also lacks the article and possessive structure needed in “creating own business.” Punctuation and spacing are inconsistent, particularly around commas and full stops. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using one clear subordinate clause at a time.

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