Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation.

Why might this be the case?

What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In today's rapidly evolving. world the issue of being self-employed has sparked a considerable debate,with opnion divided on wheather it is benificial or harmful.While both sides of the arguement hold merit,I strongly inclined to agree with the view that many people choose to be self-employed,rather than to work for a company or a organization.This issue will present compelling the reasons and real-world examples in support of my perspective.

To begin with, many people choose to be self-employed because of technology.For instance, through technology improve the world and many people workhard to invent new technologies through they will improve their buisness. In addition, many individuals are well-educated and they want to prove their self to start their own buisness.As a result,they will be a sucessful buisness man.

Furthermore, there are certain disadvantages of being self-employed such as many poor people has less money to meet their expensies so they have no money to start their buisness.As a result, they work in the companies or in organizations. In addition, many individuals are not well-educated because the students donot pay heed to their studies as a result they got less marks in the examination so they did not start their buisness and work in the organizations.

In conclusion, through the advantages of being self-employed is less than disadvantages. In my perspective, being self-employed has numerous disadvantages. However, the self-employed people has a significant number of work,they have no time to being relaxed. On the other hand,to work in the companies has many time to spend with their families.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You address both questions: technology and the wish to establish a business are offered as reasons for self-employment, while limited finances, lack of education, and reduced leisure time are presented as disadvantages. However, these points are often unclear or insufficiently explained. For example, the link between technology and choosing self-employment is not made explicit, and the claim that less-educated people cannot start businesses needs support. Your conclusion also introduces a comparison with company work without resolving the earlier points. The response contains 242 words, so it does not meet the 250-word minimum; 15 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop each reason with a clear explanation or relevant example, and state your position consistently.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for reasons and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “To begin with,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” help signal these stages. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow because ideas are connected without explaining their relationship. For instance, the technology point moves from improving the world to inventing technologies and then to improving a business, without a clear chain of reasoning. The conclusion also shifts between disadvantages and the benefits of company work. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make each paragraph develop one central point in a logical sequence, with clear references between sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “self-employed,” “technology,” “well-educated,” and “disadvantages,” and you attempt more formal expressions such as “considerable debate.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make meaning unclear, such as “prove their self,” “through technology improve the world,” and “a significant number of work.” Spelling errors—including “opnion,” “wheather,” “benificial,” and “buisness”—also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, natural phrases such as “demonstrate their abilities,” “use technology to run a business,” and “a heavy workload.” Proofread carefully and choose vocabulary that expresses the intended relationship between ideas.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, using clauses introduced by “because,” “so,” and “as a result.” Nevertheless, errors in sentence formation, agreement, articles, and punctuation occur frequently and sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “many poor people has less money” has incorrect subject–verb agreement, while “the self-employed people has” repeats this problem. The opening, “In today's rapidly evolving. world,” has faulty punctuation, and several sentences join clauses without clear grammatical control. Practise building accurate sentences first, then combine them using subordinate clauses. Check singular and plural subjects, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries during proofreading.

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