Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation.

Why might this be the case?

What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In recent years many people choose to be self-employed , rather than to work for a company or organisation . This essay will explore both perspective and disadvantages.

The primary reson why many people choose self-employed is the desire for independence and flexcibility . Most of the people nowdays opened our own business , for example - Hotel , Street food shop and boutique , home made items . While , self-employed are more facility in the employed , because without stress and time management . Sometimes people our working persanolity 100% our works but salary lowest , so some people plan to oun business. Furthermore , own business man and women's are our own responsobility and sometimes highest amount imcome take it or lowest income take in the employed. Self-employed our company rules and regulation , our opinion in the company and any time take off the company.

The manin disadvantages of being self-employed financially down in the people , because some people our own business starting inversment by loan . So that , at the time more than responsibility all the self employed with take care of responsibilty worker and our family , running business without lossing. While , some people without planning in the new business at the time very loss our money and some people all the inversment money loan

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both questions: independence and flexibility are offered as reasons for self-employment, while loans, financial losses and responsibility for workers and family are identified as disadvantages. However, these points are often unclear or only briefly stated, and the response does not provide a developed example or explain the ideas in enough detail. The opening says the essay will explore “both perspective and disadvantages,” but your position and main points are not clearly established. The response contains 208 words, so it is 42 words below the required minimum; 16 words copied from the task prompt were excluded from the count. This limits the space available to develop both parts of the task. Explain each point with a clear cause, consequence and relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic overall structure, with an opening, a paragraph about reasons and a final paragraph about disadvantages. Linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “because” and “So that” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, progression within the paragraphs is difficult to follow: the first body paragraph moves from independence to examples of businesses, then to salary and company rules without clear relationships between these points. Some connections are also confusing, as in “While, self-employed are more facility in the employed.” The final paragraph ends abruptly, leaving the disadvantage discussion incomplete. Use one main idea per paragraph, arrange supporting details in a logical order, and make pronouns and linking phrases clearly refer to the ideas they connect.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “independence,” “flexibility,” “responsibility,” “investment” and “financially.” This gives the response some useful topic coverage. However, the range is limited and many spelling, word-form and collocation errors make meaning difficult to understand, such as “flexcibility,” “responsobility,” “highest amount imcome” and “financially down.” Some phrases appear to use the wrong word or an unclear expression, including “more facility in the employed” and “our working persanolity.” Aim to learn common business collocations and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary would help you explain the financial risks and personal benefits without relying on repeated or unclear wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You make some attempts to form longer sentences, for example with “because” and “while,” and the response includes a few simple statements that communicate a general topic. However, sentence structures are very limited and errors are frequent, often making the intended meaning hard to follow. Examples include “Most of the people nowdays opened our own business” and “some people plan to oun business,” where verb forms and sentence construction are not controlled. Missing or incorrect articles, agreement and punctuation also occur, as in “The primary reson why many people choose self-employed is…” and the inconsistent spacing before commas and full stops. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add one subordinate clause at a time and check tense and agreement.

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