Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation.

Why might this be the case?

What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In these days, several individuals select to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. From my perspective, there are many advantages and disadvantages of being self-emlpoyed because many people start their own business but they do not much experience about their business therefore, they fail.

Nowadays, Many individuals are starting their own business forsake the company. There are many disadvantages of being self-emlpoyed. First of all, Do not much experience about business. For instance, several people watch the social media then they see another people life on social media after that they start their business to see another people business. In addition, they do not much experience about business then they fail in their business.

Furthermore, the second disadvantage is, money is the better source of being-employed. it is use in self-employed. For instance, when people being self-employed and they start their own work. they do not have enough money for grow the business or work. After some time, their business do not grow and they can fail in their bisiness because money use in all works.

Finally, From my perspective, they should work for a company or organisation because it can give more oppurtunities in our work. I can work in multi national companies. they provide all faclities in company.

To sum up, several people choose to be self-employed. They can start their own business but it cannot provide better life styles on ther other hand, when we work for a company. I believe, company can give good life styles and open new oppurtunities in life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You address the disadvantages by discussing limited business experience and insufficient money, and you give examples of how these can lead to failure. However, the task also asks why people choose self-employment, and this part is not explained: the opening says there are advantages, but no specific reasons are developed. Your conclusion gives a preference for company work rather than clearly summarising both sides. The response is also 249 words, one word below the 250-word minimum; the 13 words copied from the task prompt are not counted. To improve, explain motivations such as independence or flexible hours, then develop each point with a clear example and finish with a balanced summary.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “First of all,” “Furthermore,” and “To sum up” help signal the stages of the discussion. However, progression is weakened because the first body paragraph repeats the lack of business experience several times, while the reasons for choosing self-employment are not organised into a developed section. Some links are awkward or unclear, for example, “the second disadvantage is, money is the better source of being-employed.” Paragraphs would work more effectively if each had one clear main idea, followed by explanation and a relevant example. Use linking expressions to show relationships between ideas, not simply to announce the next point.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “self-employed,” “business,” “experience,” “opportunities,” and “facilities,” so the reader can follow the general topic. However, the range is basic and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “business” and “self-employed.” There are also inaccurate or unnatural choices, such as “forsake the company,” “money is the better source,” and “better life styles,” which make some meanings less clear. Spelling errors such as “emlpoyed,” “bisiness,” “oppurtunities,” and “faclities” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise vocabulary for motivations and risks, and check spelling and collocations. For example, describe “financial resources” and “business growth” rather than relying on repeated general terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple sentences and longer structures, including a reason-and-result pattern in “they do not have enough money … After some time, their business do not grow.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors frequently affect sentence clarity. Examples include missing verbs in “Do not much experience about business,” incorrect agreement in “their business do not grow,” and incomplete or poorly joined clauses in the opening sentence. Capitalisation after full stops is also inconsistent, as in “it is use” and “they provide.” Practise forming complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check agreement, articles and verb forms. Once these are secure, use a wider range of complex sentences to explain causes and consequences.

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