Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation.

Why might this be the case?

What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In mordern days people would not go for work in any company or organisation but they built there own business like shopping center or stationary store and todays generation have to not work in under any pressure or stress. These essay will discuss both views and give the relvant example.

firstly, there many advantages if people are self employed like they not need to work to much under any stress or pressure, while they earn more money if they are self employed and they not worry about the time. For example, if a person have farm then they not need to work that much they have there own business and earn more money and also have benefits like they not worry about any vegetables or fruits they get easily any eating sources from farm Therefore, people who are unemployed they built their own bussiness and get many kinds of benefits.

secondly, if people are unemployed than they need some kinds of money to built there own business, while they need some kind of work to earn money to built business. If in world all people are self-employed than the website like repido, cab booking are affect. Therefore, if all people are unemployed than technology how built and houses are not there if all self-employed For instance they are unemployed than there are no laws in country not govrenment built that all are disadvantages if are unemployed.

by ending this, essay I would be only say that they need to go for work rather than been self-employed. they need to work and developed their own skills by working under any job

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You attempt to address both questions: you suggest that self-employment can offer independence and higher earnings, and you mention start-up costs and possible effects on services and government. However, the reasons people choose this path are not clearly explained, and several points are difficult to interpret—for example, the claim that a farm owner does not need to work much. The disadvantages are also confused with unemployment and with a hypothetical situation in which everyone is self-employed. Your final view that people should work for an employer is stated, but it does not directly resolve the task’s two questions. Develop a few relevant reasons and disadvantages, explaining each with a clear, realistic example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a concluding statement, and signposts such as “firstly,” “secondly” and “therefore” show an attempt to organise ideas. However, progression within the paragraphs is difficult to follow because points shift abruptly: the second body paragraph moves from start-up money to booking websites, technology, houses, laws and government. Some linking words are repeated or do not show a clear relationship between ideas, and references such as “they” and “this” are often unclear. Organise each paragraph around one main point, then explain and illustrate it before moving on. Clearer topic sentences and more precise links would make the overall argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “self-employed,” “business,” “stress,” “pressure” and “government,” so the general subject is recognisable. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and inaccurate word choices sometimes make the meaning unclear. For instance, “unemployed” is repeatedly used where you appear to mean “self-employed,” while “eating sources” and “how built” do not express the intended ideas naturally. Spelling errors such as “mordern,” “relvant” and “bussiness” also reduce clarity. Build a more precise set of phrases for discussing independence, income, financial risk and job security, and check spelling and collocations when editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to form longer sentences using words such as “while,” “if” and “therefore,” but these structures are often incomplete or inaccurately controlled. Examples include “there many advantages,” “if a person have farm,” and “they not need to work,” where sentence structure, verb forms and agreement are faulty. Articles and plurals are also frequently missing or inconsistent, as in “built there own business.” Punctuation is weak, with long sentences joined without clear boundaries, particularly in the second body paragraph. These errors often make the intended relationships between ideas hard to understand. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using correctly formed conditional and contrast clauses.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.