Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation.

Why might this be the case?

What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

NOWDAYS MANY PEOPLE CHOOSE TO BE INDEPENDENT, RATHER THAN TO WORK UNDER A COMPANY OR ORGANISATION.THE CAUSES AND IMPACTS WILL BE DISCUSSED IN THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPHS.

DISCUSSING THE CONTRIBUTING FACTORS, THE MOST EVIDENT ONE IS THAT PEOPLE ARE WANT TO BE INDEPENDENT AND WANT TO CREATE THEIR OWN BRAND. TO JUSTIFY IT FURTHER, PEOPLES WANT TO MAKE THEIR OWN DECISION BECAUSE PEOPLE KONWS INDEPENDENT BUSSINESS HAS LOT OF FINANCIAL BENEFITS THAN JOB. FOR INSTANCE, BUSSINESS HAS GREATE MONEY LIKE IT INDUSTRY IS BIG GROWING INDUSTRY AROUND WORLD, BUT WHEN PEOPLE HAS JOB IN COMPANY THAT HAS LIMITED MONEY. ANOTHER FACTOR IS THAT CURRENTLY OWN BUSSINESS IS GROWING TREND. SO, OWN BUSSINESS GIVES LOT OF OPPORTUNITY FOR MONEY.

MEANWHILE, THERE ARE PLENTY OF NEGATIVE OUTCOMES REALATED TO BEING SELF-EMPLOYMENT. THE MOST SIGNIFICANT ONE IS JOB HAS LESS RISK THAN SELF-EMPLOYMENT. TO BE MORE PRECISE, JOB GIVES LOT OF EXPRINCE AND KNOWLEDGE OF HOW COMPANY WORKS. AND ALSO THERE ARE LESS RISKS BECAUSE SELF-EMPLOYMENT NEEDS INITIAL MONEY TO BUILD OWN BUSSINESS. FOR EXAMPLE, MANY SUCCESSFUL BUSINESSMEN STARTS THEIR CAREER TO WORKING UNDER THE COMPANY OR ORGANISATION. ANOTHER NEGATIVE OUTCOME IS SELF-EMPLOYMENT REQUIRES LOT OF PATIENCE. TO BE MORE SPECIFIC, BUSSINESS IS NEVER CREATED IN FIRST DAY THESE REQUIRES LOT OF TIME TO BUILDOWN BRAND.

TO CONCLUD, REGARDING THE VIEWPOINT OF MANY PEOPLE CHOOSE TO BE SELF-EMPLOYMENT, THE POTENTIAL CAUSES ARE TO CREATE OWN BRAND AND GREATE OPPORTUNITY TO MONEY, AND THE OBVIOUS CONSEQUENCES ARE NOT ONLY SELF-EMPLOYMENT HAS GREATE RISKS BUT ALSO REQUIRES LOT OF TIME.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both questions: you suggest that independence, building a personal brand and financial opportunity attract people, then identify business risk and the time needed to establish a brand as disadvantages. These points are relevant, and the essay has a clear basic position. However, the reasons are only partly explained. For example, “business has great money” is asserted without showing how self-employment can produce greater income, and the example about successful businessmen starting in companies does not clearly demonstrate the risk involved. The discussion of disadvantages also focuses mainly on financial risk and patience, leaving other possible drawbacks unexplored. Develop each main point with a clearer explanation and a specific, relevant example to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, one paragraph on reasons, one on disadvantages and a conclusion. The progression from causes to drawbacks is easy to follow, and signposts such as “Another factor” and “Meanwhile” help readers see the direction of the discussion. This gives the essay a coherent overall arrangement. To make the organisation more effective, ensure that each supporting sentence clearly develops the point before it. For instance, the example about businessmen beginning their careers in companies needs an explicit link to why this makes self-employment riskier. Some transitions, including “To justify it further” and “To be more specific,” feel mechanical, while repeated references to “business” and “self-employment” make cohesion less flexible. Use clearer referencing and vary how you connect explanations and examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a small set of relevant topic words, including “independent,” “financial benefits,” “initial money,” “risks” and “brand,” so the main ideas can generally be understood. However, the range is limited and several word choices or combinations are unnatural, such as “great money,” “big growing industry,” “opportunity for money” and “builddown brand.” Spelling errors, including “busssiness” (repeatedly), “exprince,” “realated” and “conclud,” also make the writing less clear and polished. Aim to learn accurate topic vocabulary in useful combinations, rather than repeating broad terms such as “money” and “business.” Proofread spelling and check whether each chosen phrase sounds natural in its sentence.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentence forms, including “because” clauses and the concluding “not only…but also” structure, but control is inconsistent. Errors in verb forms and agreement appear in examples such as “people are want,” “people konws,” “businessmen starts” and “these requires.” Articles and sentence construction are also problematic: “business has lot of financial benefits” and “business is never created in first day” need more accurate grammatical framing. Several sentences are joined in ways that obscure the relationship between ideas, as in “And also there are less risks because self-employment needs initial money.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled subordinate clauses. Check subject–verb agreement, articles and punctuation during revision.

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