Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, many medical research projects are funded by private companies. In your opinion, do you think that research should be carried by private companies, individuals or government?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Thesedays, advancement in medical industry increasing day by day. some people believe that is not a positive development because they thought medicines have there own side effects but i believe that medical advancement are back by proper research works which is done by government as well as some private bodies. In this essay i will discuss medical research is must be conducted by the government not by the private labs. I will explain my opinion with strong examples.

First of all, desies related researches contains very sensitive information. Take corona virus vaccines as an example. If this information is accessible by to private agencies they can miss use the information very easily. So i personally think government should do these kind to research work in there own labs instead handing all assets to the third party labs.

Moreover, if the private organization make formula of any disease they start doing bussiness instead of giving the medicine to the patients they start selling it on a high prices. They also stock the medicens and blackmail the patinets to pay a high price if they want that specific medicine. So i believe that medicines are a every one needeed thing government must take the control of medical research and work more to make medcine on a lower prices.

In conclusion, many researches are currently financed by the private companies but i believe that is complletely wrong because they are using that thing in a negative way they are just doing bussiness so government must do researches by them self or if its not possible than athourites must implement the strict sops to control them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall position: you argue that government should lead medical research rather than private laboratories. The two main reasons—protecting sensitive information and preventing companies from charging excessive prices—are relevant, and the examples of vaccine research and access to medicine help explain your concerns. However, the response only partly addresses the choice among private companies, individuals, and government: individuals are not discussed, and the role of private funding is mainly criticised rather than compared with alternatives. Some claims, such as private agencies misusing research or stockpiling medicines, need more explanation or a specific example. Develop the comparison and qualify broad claims to make the argument more complete and convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present separate reasons, and a conclusion restates your position. Sequencing phrases such as “First of all,” “Moreover,” and “In conclusion” make the progression easy to follow. However, some links are mechanical, and the introduction spends time on whether medical advancement is positive before clearly framing the question of who should conduct research. Within the body paragraphs, several ideas are joined in long chains, so the relationship between research, ownership of a formula, and medicine prices is not always clear. Use clearer sentence boundaries and connect each example directly to its main point; this would make the overall organisation more controlled.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “sensitive information,” “private agencies,” “third party labs,” and “high prices,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, spelling, and collocation errors are noticeable, sometimes making the reader pause. Examples include “desies related researches,” “miss use,” “bussiness,” and “blackmail the patinets.” Phrases such as “medical advancement are back by proper research works” are also unclear because the wording does not express the intended relationship naturally. Build a more accurate set of topic-specific expressions, and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary would help you explain research funding and access to treatment without relying on repeated general terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “If this information is accessible … they can…” and a reason clause beginning “because.” This shows an effort to connect ideas rather than use only short statements. However, control is inconsistent: errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence construction occur frequently and can make meaning difficult to follow. For example, “medical advancement are” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “government should do these kind to research work” has an unclear grammatical pattern. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, particularly at sentence beginnings. Practise accurate basic clauses first, then build longer sentences with clear subjects and verbs; this will make your complex attempts easier to understand.

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