Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, many medical research projects are funded by private companies. In your opinion, do you think that research should be carried by private companies, individuals or government?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This statement shows the many medical reserch projects are funded by private companies. In my point of view it should be not be valled fpor the private companies. Any how it should be allowed for the government companies. the main reason is private companies sold all the medicines at hight prices. Moreover as compare to the government companies people can not afford these expencies. Afterward a person is a poor he can not afford these expendages, For example a older man can not walk and having no any job then how he can get these expensive medicines. Therefor the other reason is theses private companies took extra charges for a medicines to the patients. For intence there is an old lady which is my grand mother she is ill . As well as she can not afford all appendages with medicines.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You take a discernible position: medical research should be funded by government rather than private companies. The concern that private firms charge high prices, making medicines unaffordable for poorer people, is relevant, and the examples of an older man and your grandmother help illustrate this concern. However, the response addresses the question only minimally: it does not explain whether individuals should fund research, and it gives little detail about how government funding would improve research or access to treatment. The examples are asserted rather than developed, and the conclusion is absent. The response is also 109 words below the required minimum, leaving too little space to explain and support the position. Develop both sides of the choice and add a clear concluding statement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic line of argument: you state a preference for government funding, then give reasons related to medicine prices and affordability. Connectors such as “Moreover,” “For example,” and “Therefor” show an attempt to link points. However, the ideas are not arranged into clear paragraphs, and the progression becomes difficult to follow, particularly in “Afterward a person is a poor he can not afford these expendages.” The two examples also overlap rather than forming distinct, developed points. Some linking phrases do not clearly express the relationship between ideas, and the response ends without a conclusion. Organise the essay into an introduction, separate body paragraphs for reasons and examples, and a conclusion; use clear references so each example supports the point immediately before it.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “medical research,” “private companies,” “medicines,” “prices,” and “patients,” so the main subject is generally identifiable. However, the range is basic and repetitive, with “companies,” “afford,” and “expensive” carrying much of the argument. Frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word choices can strain the reader’s understanding, for example “reserch,” “hight,” “expencies,” and “appendages” where you appear to mean expenses. Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “extra charges for a medicines.” Build a more precise set of terms for the topic, such as “research funding,” “treatment costs,” and “access to medication,” and check spelling and collocations carefully. The suggestions below offer practical replacements.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts a few different sentence forms, including a reason introduced by “Moreover” and examples introduced by “For example” and “For instance.” However, sentence structures are very limited overall, and frequent errors in sentence formation, articles, agreement, and verb patterns sometimes make meaning difficult to follow. For example, “it should be not be” has an incorrect word order, while “Afterward a person is a poor” does not form a complete, accurate clause. In “a older man” and “a medicines,” article use is also faulty. Aim first for accurate simple sentences, then add controlled complex forms using “because” or “although.” Check each sentence for a clear subject and verb, and review articles and singular/plural agreement.

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