Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-07-25
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays, many medical research projects are funded by private companies. In your opinion, do you think that research should be carried by private companies, individuals or government?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 7.0)
A thought of providing wards with the numerous toys has become increasingly common in the progenitors. This is because change in lifestyle has taken a mammoth dimension. This essay intends to shed light on the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.
Many wonderful facets are associated with the phenomenon of buying umpteen toys for children. The dominant advantage is that toys significantly boost their imagination and creativity. To expound, since toys encourage kids to create an imaginary world while role-play, it fosters creativity and develops story-telling skills. For instance, while playing, young children often imitate the roles of parents while cooking imaginary food in their toy-kitchen. Furthermore, some toys also play a crucial role to promote problem solving skills in children, such as Lego and Monopoly. Using such toys or games, not only enhance critical thinking but also nurtures their mental growth, and as a result, they improve their intelligence.
Despite the above merits, some demerits are also observed with the trend of purchasing numerous toys. The contributing factor is, although a lot of money is wasted by the parents in order to purchase numerous toys, they are used only for a limited period of time by their children since they outgrow them with age. This is because, in an urge to buy new toys for their kids parents overspend money which is not justified considering the short period of their use. To exemplify, in 2024 an experiment conducted in Canada, which showcased that brand new toys were merely used for less than a year and then thrown away by children as they outgrew them.
In conclusion, this essay has clearly discussed that improvement in creativity and development of critical thinking with the use of toys are the plausible advantages whereas also highlighted that wastage of hard earned money is the credible disadvantage of this practice.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 7.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 7.0 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks for an opinion on who should fund medical research (private companies, individuals, or government), but the essay discusses the advantages and disadvantages of buying toys for children. Because the response fails to address the task question entirely, it cannot be assessed on the development of ideas related to the prompt. While the essay is structured as an academic response, the content is irrelevant to the instructions provided. To improve, you must carefully read the prompt and ensure your arguments directly answer the specific question asked.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5
The essay is well-structured with clear paragraphing and logical progression. You use cohesive devices such as 'The dominant advantage is', 'To expound', 'Furthermore', and 'Despite the above merits' effectively to link ideas. Each paragraph has a clear central topic, and the flow between sentences is smooth. While the content is irrelevant to the prompt, the internal organization of the text demonstrates a good grasp of how to structure an academic essay. If the content were on-topic, this would be a much higher score.
Lexical Resource — Band 7.0
You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary, including phrases like 'mammoth dimension', 'umpteen toys', 'fosters creativity', and 'plausible advantages'. There are some minor issues with collocation, such as 'progenitors' (which usually refers to ancestors rather than parents) and 'wards' (which usually refers to children under legal guardianship or hospital patients). However, the vocabulary is generally precise and varied enough to convey your intended meaning clearly. You show an ability to use less common lexical items, which is a positive feature of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'Since toys encourage kids to create an imaginary world while role-play, it fosters creativity'. There are some grammatical slips, such as 'a thought of providing wards with the numerous toys' (should be 'providing children with numerous toys') and 'some toys also play a crucial role to promote' (should be 'play a crucial role in promoting'). Punctuation is generally accurate, and your errors do not impede communication. You have a solid foundation in sentence construction, though more variety in complex structures would improve the score.
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