Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, many medical research projects are funded by private companies. In your opinion, do you think that research should be carried by private companies, individuals or government?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the modern era, medical projects are very important for finding diseases. Nowadays many health departments are funded by companies but others argued that common individuals and government also provide some funds for improvement. I will discuss both views in this essay before my opinion because both plays important role in development.

To commence with, there are several supportive points related to government. The most prominent point is, more focused. To explain it, government more focus on individuals health rather than making profits. Moreover, not only government invest money in large amount to invent new medicines but also provide funds in resarch institutes. For example, it can helps make treatments accesible to low income families. Therefore, medical resarch requires large amount of money and government also provide long term funding in public universities, hospitals so they can conduct important studies.

On the other hand, there are numerous benefits related to private companies and individuals. The main point is, develop new medicines. Privates companies can develop new medicines, vaccanis and technology. In addition, competition can encourage fast enovation and encourage individuals to invest more in health department. For example, individuals and charities can support research through donation and investments. However, private companies may focus on projects that generate profits.

In my opinion, both has valid points, government invest for long time and provide all the facalities while private companies generate new machines and medicines so they can easily find diseases and also invest in charaties and donate in health departments.

In conclusion, after taking all aspects into consideration, I would like to emphasize that it has some valid points. Although government more focus on citizen health insted of making profit. I believe that private companies can develop new technology.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the task, discussing government funding, private companies, and individual contributions as requested by the prompt. However, the treatment of these ideas remains somewhat limited and under-developed. For example, while the student mentions that private companies develop new medicines and technologies, this point is not fully extended with specific explanations or robust supporting examples. The writer attempts to take a position by stating that both entities have valid points, but the stance lacks clarity and consistency across the essay, particularly in the conclusion where the synthesis of ideas is somewhat repetitive rather than clearly decisive. To move to a higher level, the ideas need deeper extension and more thorough illustration, ensuring the position is maintained clearly throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to structure the response into introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to separate distinct ideas, such as government funding versus private company contributions. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical and faulty. For instance, transitional phrases like 'To commence with' and 'On the other hand' are used, but referencing and logical progression within paragraphs occasionally falter, such as abrupt shifts in thought within the second body paragraph ('The most prominent point is, more focused'). Furthermore, cohesive devices are sometimes over-used or repetitive, and referencing pronouns do not always clearly point to their antecedents. To improve, the writer should ensure smoother transitions between sentences and more precise management of cohesive ties to establish a clear progression of thought throughout.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate for the task, providing enough range to discuss medical research and funding. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary items, such as 'accessibility', 'donations', and 'investments', but these attempts are accompanied by noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and spelling, such as 'resarch', 'vaccanis', 'enovation', and 'facalities'. These lexical slips and awkward collocations, such as 'government more focus on individuals health', can cause some difficulty for the reader and impede smooth communication. To achieve a higher band, the student needs to expand their lexical repertoire, improve spelling accuracy, and demonstrate a more precise control over word choices and word forms in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and basic complex patterns. When the student attempts complex sentence forms, they are frequently faulty, leading to frequent errors in grammar, punctuation, and agreement. Examples include missing auxiliary verbs and incorrect verb forms, such as 'government more focus on individuals health', 'it can helps make treatments accesible', and 'both has valid points'. Punctuation errors, such as intrusive commas ('The main point is, develop new medicines'), also occur regularly. These frequent grammatical errors can cause some difficulty and strain for the reader. To progress, the writer must incorporate a wider variety of complex structures with greater accuracy and improve control over basic grammatical agreements and verb tenses.

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