Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, many medical research projects are funded by private companies. In your opinion, do you think that research should be carried by private companies, individuals or government?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, medical research is often funded by private companies. In my opinion, the government should be responsible for funding medical research because it is one of its main responsibilities.

The government should fund medical research because it benefits the public. This research can help scientists find treatments for serious diseases and develop them more quickly. As a result, doctors can identify suitable medicines and provide treatment to patients more effectively. For example, government funding can support research into cancer treatments, which may help doctors detect the disease earlier and improve patients' chances of recovery. As a result, more people may have access to better medical care and receive appropriate treatment.

Private companies can also contribute to medical research because they have sufficient funding to purchase modern medical equipment, such as MRI and PET scanners, and recruit skilled scientists. However, some companies may focus on making profits, so the government should ensure that research benefits the public. In addition, citizens pay taxes to the government, so this money should be used to improve healthcare facilities. Therefore, the government plays an important role in ensuring that citizens have access to medical check-ups and appropriate healthcare services.

In conclusion, although private companies can contribute to medical research, buy modern medical equipment and hiring skilled scientists. The goverment should provide good facilities to public and ensure they get benefits, because It is the government's responsibility.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Posisi Anda jelas: Anda berpendapat bahwa pemerintah seharusnya mendanai penelitian medis, dan Anda mengakui bahwa perusahaan swasta dapat berkontribusi. Manfaat bagi kesehatan masyarakat relevan, dengan penelitian kanker sebagai contoh, dan Anda menjelaskan bahwa motif mencari keuntungan mungkin perlu diawasi. Namun, pembahasannya belum dikembangkan sepenuhnya: poin tentang pajak dan fasilitas kesehatan beralih dari pendanaan penelitian ke penyediaan layanan kesehatan secara umum, sementara peran individu dalam soal tidak dibahas. Kesimpulan juga mengulang posisi Anda alih-alih menambahkan alasan akhir yang dikembangkan. Jawaban ini kurang 19 kata dari batas minimum yang diwajibkan, sehingga tidak memenuhi persyaratan panjang tugas. Kembangkan perbandingan antara pemerintah, perusahaan, dan individu, serta perluas penjelasan pendukung Anda.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

Jawaban tersusun dengan jelas secara keseluruhan: pendahuluan menyatakan pandangan Anda, dua paragraf isi menyampaikan alasan dan batasan, lalu kesimpulan menegaskan kembali posisi Anda. Gagasan umumnya berkembang secara logis, dan ungkapan penghubung seperti “As a result,” “However,” dan “Therefore” membantu menunjukkan hubungan antargagasan. Namun, beberapa penghubung terasa mekanis: “As a result” muncul dua kali di paragraf kedua, dan kesimpulan mengulang poin-poin yang sudah disampaikan tanpa merangkumnya menjadi satu gagasan. Kalimat terakhir juga menggabungkan beberapa gagasan sehingga hubungan antara perusahaan swasta dan pemerintah menjadi kurang jelas. Gunakan variasi rujukan dan transisi yang lebih luas, serta buat gagasan utama setiap paragraf lebih tegas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

Anda menggunakan kosakata topik yang memadai, termasuk “medical research,” “serious diseases,” “treatments,” “skilled scientists,” dan “healthcare facilities,” sehingga gagasan utama mudah dipahami. Anda juga mencoba menggunakan bahasa yang lebih spesifik, seperti “MRI and PET scanners” dan “patients’ chances of recovery.” Namun, beberapa ungkapan masih terlalu umum atau berulang, terutama “good facilities,” “benefits,” dan “appropriate treatment.” Ungkapan “Provide good facilities to public” juga terdengar janggal, dan “government” salah eja menjadi “goverment.” Usahakan menggunakan kolokasi yang lebih tepat dan hindari pengulangan istilah umum. Misalnya, jelaskan fasilitas atau manfaat bagi masyarakat yang Anda maksud, dan gunakan variasi bahasa yang lebih luas untuk membahas akses terhadap pengobatan dan layanan kesehatan.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

Anda menggunakan gabungan bentuk kalimat sederhana dan kompleks, termasuk klausa subordinatif “because it is one of its main responsibilities” dan klausa relatif “which may help doctors detect the disease earlier.” Sebagian besar jawaban dapat dipahami, tetapi masih ada beberapa kesalahan, terutama di bagian kesimpulan. Dalam “although private companies can contribute to medical research, buy modern medical equipment and hiring skilled scientists,” bentuk kata kerjanya tidak sejajar; gunakan “contribute, buy and hire” atau susun ulang kalimatnya. Dalam “The government should provide good facilities to public,” tidak ada artikel sebelum “public,” dan penggunaan huruf kapital pada “It” setelah koma tidak tepat. Saat merevisi, periksa kesejajaran struktur, penggunaan artikel, dan tanda baca.

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