Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, many medical research projects are funded by private companies. In your opinion, do you think that research should be carried by private companies, individuals or government?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Over the past few decades, there has been a serious concern about the funding related to the medical reasearch projects that are carried by private companies. While it can aid financial help to the medical sector, but i firmly believe that government should be more concerned about the fund and the responsibilities related to the medical projects.

Initially, we often saw the hidden purpose behind the fund to the medical projects that was organized by the private companies. This is because

every private company that is funding the medical project always aim to make benefits for their own purpose rather than focousing on the transparent assist. For example, reasearch shows that many private companies that fund to the Pharmaceutical industry always develop unhygienic medicines that originate disease rather than its cure. There can be alot purposes behind the interest of private company that work against the medical purpose.

On the other hand, government should be responsible about the medical projects. Every decision of government related to the medical sector is directly linked to the locals of its nation.For example, if medicines are developed in a proper manner by considering its effects then it can help to reduce the hazardous effects. Government can directly ensure its medicines whether it is good or bad for its citizens. It's more risky if the projects are carried out by the individuals since any person can use medical sector for its own purpose therefore work related to medical sector should be done under the governments surveillance.

To sum up, the financial aid by the private companies can be the biggest aid to the medical projects but monitoring by the government is more important .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you believe government should take primary responsibility, while private funding can still help. You address the alternatives by explaining concerns about private companies and individuals, and you give relevant examples involving medicine safety and citizens’ welfare. However, the discussion of private funding relies on broad claims—for instance, that companies develop “unhygienic medicines”—without explaining how this happens or providing a specific example. The case for government oversight is also asserted more than developed: explain what safeguards, such as independent testing or transparent approval, would achieve. Your conclusion restates the position, but the essay could address more fully whether research should be carried out by one group or through shared funding and oversight.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting points, and a conclusion. “Initially” and “On the other hand” help signal the shift between the discussion of private companies and government responsibility. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and several ideas are joined mechanically or repeated. The opening sentence of the first body paragraph is difficult to follow, while “There can be alot purposes…” repeats the claim about private companies’ motives without adding a clear next step. The conclusion also introduces the idea that private funding is a major aid without explaining how this fits with the earlier criticism. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to the paragraph’s main claim.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “medical sector,” “pharmaceutical industry,” “hazardous effects,” and “government surveillance,” which helps communicate the subject. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “transparent assist,” although this is not a natural collocation. Word choice and spelling errors are noticeable: “reasearch,” “focousing,” “alot,” and “make benefits” reduce precision, while “unhygienic medicines” does not clearly express the intended concern about unsafe or ineffective products. Repeated use of “medical projects” and “purpose” also limits range. Choose precise terms such as “clinical research,” “patient safety,” and “commercial interests,” and check spelling and collocations during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including a concessive opening (“While it can aid…”) and conditional clauses (“if medicines are developed…”). The main ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity and control. For example, “While it can aid financial help…, but…” uses two competing conjunctions; “every private company… always aim” has a subject–verb agreement error; and “Government should be responsible about” uses an incorrect grammatical pattern. There are also missing articles and punctuation problems, as in “government should be more concerned” and “nation.For example.” Aim to form complete, controlled sentences, check agreement and articles, and use one linking structure at a time.

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