Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, many medical research projects are funded by private companies. In your opinion, do you think that research should be carried by private companies, individuals or government?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In this world, most of medical researcher are funded through private companies. In my opinion there are very sets of government jobs so, that's why the like do work in private, many peoples argue this is easy to joining.

First of all, there are many persons in this whole world, who liked individuals jobs because if i talk about pakistan there are lot of humans thats working in private areas, However, one of the most bigger problem is not just a study is a finding a good job because its process is very long, So that's why most of members like own medical work opne own companies and also join private working, Moreover, some peoples apply for a good government job and some looks for a better chance but during the finding they don't waste time they join individuals companies and earn more good and haghi level exprenace,

And the other hand, many doctors doing government job and after off time they also do secound time job as a private worker, Farther more, government job is all time good and through this job we earn more advantages like free family care medical and free funds for study, also government jobs give a lot of money during retirement, also give money ever month.

In conclusion, Farthermore, in my experience I prefer always government jobs because this is very important role in society and through this job we help all poor peoples and serve over life for our country and society this is my wounderful knowledge,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a preference for government employment in the conclusion, mentioning its role in helping poorer people and serving society. However, the task asks which should carry out medical research—private companies, individuals, or government—and most of your response discusses job choices, employment opportunities, doctors’ second jobs, and benefits such as retirement payments. This makes the answer only partially relevant, and your position on who should fund or conduct research is not clear until the end. To improve, state your choice in the introduction and develop reasons directly about medical research, such as public accountability, commercial incentives, or the ability to fund long-term studies. Support each reason with a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

Your response has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, so there is an attempt to organise the answer. You also use linking expressions such as “First of all,” “Moreover,” and “In conclusion.” However, the ideas do not progress clearly: the first body paragraph moves between individual jobs, finding work, private companies, and experience, while the second shifts to doctors’ employment and government benefits. Some connectors, including “And the other hand” and “Farther more,” are inaccurate or do not clarify the relationship between ideas. Build each paragraph around one reason relevant to medical research, then explain and illustrate it. Clearer topic sentences and more precise referencing would make the progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary related to employment and public services, including “government job,” “private companies,” “retirement,” and “medical care.” However, the range is basic and repetitive, and several word choices or spellings make the meaning difficult to follow, such as “haghi level exprenace,” “own medical work,” and “wounderful knowledge.” Some phrases also do not fit the intended meaning: “individuals jobs” and “private worker” are unclear in this context. Aim to use precise terms connected to the question, such as “medical research,” “research funding,” “clinical trials,” and “public health.” Check spelling and collocations, and avoid repeating general words such as “job,” “good,” and “people” when a more exact term is available.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with clauses, for example, “because if i talk about pakistan…” and “after off time they also do secound time job.” This shows some effort to vary sentence structure, and the overall meaning can sometimes be inferred. However, errors in sentence formation, agreement, articles, and punctuation are frequent: “most of medical researcher are funded” needs a plural noun and article, while “there are very sets of government jobs” is not a complete, clear construction. Long sentences joined with commas and “so” also make relationships difficult to follow. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then add one subordinate clause at a time. Review subject–verb agreement, capitalisation, and sentence boundaries.

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