Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, many medical research projects are funded by private companies. In your opinion, do you think that research should be carried by private companies, individuals or government?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today moder world, a medical field plays a important role to improve public health. Whether there is ongoing debate who should funded by a private companies, a individual anf governtment. In my opinion, both private companies and govertment should focus on work together to develop better treatment medicines.

In one hand, Good health is one of the most important aspects of human life. Medical research helps scientists discover new medicines and treatments for serious diseases. theprivate companies play a important role in public health. A private company has enough money, imported euqipments, and skilled workers to developn new medicines and treatment. Moreover, they often do experiments on further things because they want to introduce new products in market. For example, pharmaceuticals companies spend million of dollars on expermentation to develop medicines for severe diseases such as, cancer and diabetes.

On the other hand, governtment also plays a crucial role to provide the better quality of life to patients. The major focus of the governtment to provide basic medication for the people who cannot afford it. Moreover, governtment has a main concern to provide better facilities rather than making profits. The governtmen can make sure that medical researches should follow proper rules. For instance, Governtment supplies different medicines to the patients with free of cost.

In conclusion, both organization private comapnies and goventment has a significant role in medical research. i believe that goventment should provide financial healthcare advanages to the patients, while private companies can contribute through investment and making new discoveries.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address the central question by taking a clear position: private companies and government should work together. The two body paragraphs give relevant reasons, including companies’ funding and expertise, and government’s role in access and regulation. Examples such as research into cancer and diabetes help make the discussion concrete. However, the response focuses mainly on these two groups and does not explain whether individuals should have a role, despite their inclusion in the question. Some points are also asserted rather than developed: for example, the claim that companies experiment on “further things” is unclear, and the government’s provision of free medicines is not linked in detail to research. Clarifying these points and supporting the comparison more fully would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for private companies and government, and a conclusion that restates your position. The contrast between the body paragraphs is easy to follow, and signposts such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. This already gives the essay a logical progression. To make the organisation more fluent, avoid relying on formulaic transitions such as “In one hand” and “On the other hand,” and ensure each sentence connects clearly to the point before it. For instance, the example about free medicines would be more cohesive if you explicitly connected it to government’s responsibility for equitable access. Clearer referencing and smoother links between claims and examples would improve flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “medical research,” “treatments,” “skilled workers,” “severe diseases,” and “making profits,” so the reader can understand the main discussion. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “pharmaceutical companies” and “financial” support. However, spelling errors and inaccurate word choices are noticeable and sometimes make phrases difficult to interpret: “imported euqipments,” “expermentation,” and “further things” are examples. Several expressions are also unnatural, including “provide the better quality of life” and “supplies different medicines … with free of cost.” Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning common collocations for research, funding, and access to treatment. More precise wording would make your ideas clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional-style idea in “The government can make sure that medical researches should follow proper rules” and sentences beginning with “Moreover.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but grammatical errors occur across the response. Examples include missing or incorrect articles in “a important role,” subject–verb agreement in “both organization … has,” and incomplete or awkward sentence construction in “Whether there is ongoing debate who should funded.” Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “theprivate” and the lowercase “i” in the conclusion. Practise forming complete clauses and checking articles, verb forms, and agreement. Greater control of these basics would allow your varied sentence attempts to communicate more reliably.

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