Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
THE DIAGRAM SHOWS THE PERCANTAGES OF LANGUAGE ENGLAND STUDENTS IN UNIVERSITY .
OVWE ALL,THE BRITISH STUDENTS SPEAKS LANGUAGE OTHER THAN ENGLISH SUCH AS SPANISH,FRENCH,GERMAN AND OTHER LANGUAGE BETWEEN 2000AND 2010.
HAVING MYOPIC IT IS CLEAR THAT ,FRENCH LANGUAGE USED IN 2000 ONLY 15 PERCENT WHILW IN 2010 IT WAS USED ONLY 10.WHERE AS SPANISH TONGUE SPEAKED BY THE STUDENTS AROUND 20 PROPORTIONS IN FIRST DECADES AND IN 2010 SPANISH REMAINED SAME AS FRENCEH .GERMAM REMAINED SAME IN BOTH YEARS.
MOVING FUTHER,NO OTHER LANGUAGE USED BY PUPLIES THAT WAS 30 PERCENT IN 2000 .HOWEVER 35 PROPORTIONS USED IN 2010.TWO OTHER TONGUE USED BY ONLY 10 PERCENT IN 2000 WHERE AS 15 PERCENT USED IN 2010.ANOTHER LANGUAGE SPEAK BY STUDENT ONLY 15 PERCENT AND 20 PERCENT IN 2010.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the ability to fully develop the task. While you have identified some main features, the analysis is superficial and lacks a clear overview of the trends. The data reporting is inconsistent, and some figures are described inaccurately (e.g., stating German remained the same when the chart shows changes). The response is under-length, which prevents a higher score as the data is not fully explored or compared effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inappropriate, such as 'HAVING MYOPIC' (likely intended as 'Having analyzed') and 'MOVING FUTHER'. Referencing is often unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between the two years. The structure lacks the necessary flow required for a formal report, and the transition between ideas is disjointed.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. There are frequent errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'PERCANTAGES', 'ENGLAND STUDENTS', 'FRENCEH', 'GERMAM', and 'PUPLIES'. The use of 'Spanish tongue' and 'two other tongue' is unnatural and inaccurate in this context. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the information with precision, and the persistent spelling errors occasionally impede the reader's understanding of the data being presented.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that affect clarity. Sentence structures are simple and often lack correct subject-verb agreement, such as 'British students speaks' and 'Spanish tongue speaked'. Punctuation is also problematic, with missing spaces after commas and periods. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the errors are pervasive throughout the text, which significantly hinders the overall quality of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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