Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In this essay, i got information about pie charts in which shows the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.
There are % of students who are able to speak languages other than English, 2000. There are different languages mentioned in this pie chart and all have different percentage. The percentage of students who speak no other language is 30% which is the highest. There are other languages mentioned such as French which is 15%, Spanish 20%, Another language 15%. The least spoken languages by students are German and two another languages with 10%.
On the other hand, the second pie chart shows % of British Students who are able to speak languages other than English, 2010. The highest percentage carry Two other languages with 35%. There are other language which are French which is 10%, German 10%, Spanish 10%. The least spoken language by students are German, Spanish and French.
In conclusion, different students have different mindset and different learing skills. Student love English language the most and others learn these languages because they want to gain something new and its important to get new things in their life.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response attempts to summarise the data from the two pie charts, but it only addresses the task minimally. Several data points reported contain significant inaccuracies; for instance, the writer states that in 2010 'The highest percentage carry Two other languages with 35%', whereas the visual data clearly shows 'No other language' at 35% and 'Two other languages' at 15%. Additionally, the conclusion drifts away from reporting visual data and instead introduces personal opinions about students having different mindsets and loving the English language. To move towards a higher standard, all key features should be accurately extracted from the charts without misreading the percentages, and the summary must remain purely factual rather than speculative.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
There is some basic organisation, with the writing broken into separate paragraphs for the introduction, the two body sections, and a conclusion, and basic transitional phrases like 'On the other hand' are attempted. However, the overall progression lacks clarity. The internal sequencing of ideas within paragraphs feels mechanical and repetitive, often listing data points formulaically ('There are other languages mentioned such as...') without creating a smooth narrative flow. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and cohesive devices are inadequate for guiding the reader smoothly through the comparative features of the charts. Improving cohesion will require more varied and accurate linking devices to clearly connect comparisons between the two years.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, relying heavily on simple phrases like 'different languages mentioned', 'highest percentage', and 'least spoken languages'. There are noticeable lexical errors, such as 'learing skills' (spelling), 'Two another languages' (imprecise collocation and grammar), and awkward phrasing like 'The highest percentage carry Two other languages'. These limitations and errors mean the range is minimally adequate for the task. To achieve a stronger lexical score, the student needs to incorporate a wider variety of less common vocabulary appropriate for describing statistical data, such as proportions, percentages, and trends, while ensuring accurate word forms and spellings.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The grammatical structures are very limited, consisting mostly of simple and repetitive sentence forms like 'There are...' and 'The percentage of... is...'. Attempts at slightly more complex structures reveal frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('the second pie chart shows %... The highest percentage carry...'), article usage ('i got information', 'English language'), and punctuation errors like lowercase 'i'. These frequent errors create some difficulty for the reader. To improve, the writer must expand their repertoire of grammatical structures and demonstrate better control over basic sentence construction, verb agreements, and punctuation.
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