Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The diagram give information about illustrate, percentage uk students at a particular university in england who could speak a foregin language apart from english over a period of 10 years between 2000 to 2010. The data is measured in percentage.
Overall it is clear that in 2000 and 2010 germen language at the remain same. No other language are rose in 2010 is 5 percent. Spanish and french language are drop in 2010.
Firstly the no other langauge are in the top of 2000 and 2010. Spanish language use in 2000 is 20 percent than increase in 2010 is 10 percent. French language in 2000 is 15% than also fall in 2010 is 5%.
On the other hand we comparison of both some langauge are increase and some language are decrease.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
You identify the two years and report several relevant figures, including German remaining at 10% and Spanish falling from 20% to 10%. However, the response only partially summarises the charts: it omits the increases in “another language” (15% to 20%) and “two other languages” (10% to 15%), and the overview is brief and unclear. The statement that no other language “are rose” by 5% does not clearly distinguish the category’s values from the change. The final comparison adds no specific information. The response is also 19 words below the required minimum, limiting the detail available. To improve, give a clear overview of the main shifts and compare all key categories accurately, using the available space to report the figures systematically.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
There is some basic organisation: an introduction is followed by an overview, then details, with paragraph breaks that help separate these functions. Sequencing words such as “Overall,” “Firstly,” and “On the other hand” show an attempt to guide the reader. However, progression is limited, and the final paragraph repeats the general idea that some categories rose and others fell without developing the comparison. Some linking is also inaccurate or confusing, particularly “On the other hand we comparison.” The details would be easier to follow if grouped by direction of change or presented in a consistent year-by-year comparison. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make each paragraph add a distinct piece of information.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The response uses a small set of relevant terms, including “percentage,” “remain same,” “increase,” and “fall,” so the general topic and direction of some changes can be understood. However, vocabulary is repetitive and several word choices or spellings make the meaning less clear, such as “foregin,” “germen,” and “langauge.” Phrases including “Spanish language use” and “No other language are rose” are not natural ways to describe chart categories and trends. Use precise chart language, such as “the proportion of students speaking Spanish” and “the share with no other language.” Also distinguish a category from its change: say that the figure “rose by five percentage points,” rather than simply “is 5 percent.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The writing relies mainly on short, simple statements, with little variety in sentence structure. Frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction sometimes make relationships between figures difficult to understand. For example, “The diagram give information about illustrate” combines incompatible verb patterns, while “No other language are rose” has incorrect agreement and verb form. In “Spanish language use in 2000 is 20 percent than increase in 2010 is 10 percent,” the comparison is not expressed in a grammatical sentence. Practise clear patterns such as “The figure for Spanish fell from 20% in 2000 to 10% in 2010.” Accurate simple comparisons should come before attempts to combine several ideas in one sentence.
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