Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The two pie charts illustrare of british students at one university in england who were able to speak other languages in 2000 and 2010.

overall,bar chat show the percentage of british students how was able to speak the other languages in 2000.The percentage of peoples how can speak french is only 15 percentage.overall,highest percentage of peoples how can only speak birstish they can not speak the other language.On the other hand 15% peoples who knows the other language.morever 10% people speak only german.In addition 20% peoples know spanish.

similarly the hightest percentage is on other language is 35% in 2010 the percentage is more increase of no other language.on the oher hand spanish and french or dicreases and its about 10%.moreover german language are same as 10 %.In addition percentage of other language are increases.

overall the percentage of on other language was increases in 2010 is about 35%

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify several relevant figures, including French at 15% and German at 10% in 2000, and note that the share reporting no other language is highest in both years. However, the overview is unclear and some comparisons are inaccurate: in 2010, Spanish falls to 10%, but French also falls to 10%; the 35% figure is for students with no other language, not those speaking another language. You also omit the rise in “another language” from 15% to 20% and “two other languages” from 10% to 15%. The response contains 133 words, below the required 150, and 16 words copied from the prompt were not counted. Select the main changes accurately and summarise them clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response by year, with a paragraph about 2000 followed by one about 2010, and linking expressions such as “On the other hand” and “In addition.” This gives the reader some sense of the chart’s sequence. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the first paragraph repeats “overall” and lists figures without a clear comparison, while the final overview repeats the 35% point rather than summarising the main trends. Some links do not show a logical contrast or addition, and references such as “the percentage” are unclear. Use a concise introduction, a distinct overview, and grouped comparisons between the two years to make the information easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “percentage,” “speak,” “language,” and “increases,” so the general subject is usually recognisable. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling and word-choice problems make parts of the report difficult to interpret. Examples include “bar chat” for “pie charts,” “peoples” for “students,” and “the hightest percentage is on other language,” which does not clearly identify the category. “More increase” and “are dicreases” are also inaccurate forms. Aim for precise chart language such as “accounted for,” “rose,” “fell,” and “remained unchanged,” and check spelling and collocations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts simple statements and a few connected clauses, but sentence structures are very limited and grammatical errors occur throughout. For example, “students how was able” has incorrect relative wording and subject–verb agreement, while “the percentage of peoples how can speak” has problems with both clause structure and verb form. In “german language are same as 10%,” the article and agreement are also faulty. Punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent, including the opening sentence and several run-on sequences. These errors sometimes obscure the intended comparisons. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses, for example: “The proportion speaking Spanish fell from 20% to 10%.”

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