Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The take below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Underground Railway Systems

City	Date opened	Kilometers of route	Passengers per year (in millions)
London	1863	394	775
Paris	1900	199	1191
Tokyo	1927	155	1927
Washington DC	1976	126	144
Kyoto	1981	11	45
Los Angeles	2001	28	50

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The information is about the underground railway system. The underground railway system in six cities. And i discussed is about the below paragraph with example.

The information is about different cities about railway system in London the underground railway system is opened in 1863. The route of underground system is 394 kilometer and passengers per year 775 million.Paris the system is introduced in 1900 and route of this system is about 199 kilometer and the passengers is per year is 1191 millions . And the Tokyo the the system is opened in 1927 and the route is about 155 kilometer and the passengers one year is 1927 million.

Washingt on DC the date opened is 1976 and the motion is about 126 kilometer and the passengers is about 144 million per year. Kyoto the system is introduced in 1981 and the rotation is 11 kilometers and the passengers 45 million and last Los Angeies the date was opened is 2001 and the 28 kilometers of route and 50 million passengers per year.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to provide a clear overview or summary of the main features. Instead of grouping data or making meaningful comparisons, the text simply lists the statistics for each city in a repetitive, mechanical fashion. There is no attempt to highlight the oldest or newest systems, nor to contrast the varying scales of the networks (e.g., London's extensive route vs. Kyoto's small size). To improve, you must identify trends and significant differences rather than just transcribing the table row by row.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The response lacks logical progression. While there is some paragraphing, the sentences within them are disjointed and lack cohesive devices to link ideas. The use of 'And' to start sentences is repetitive and informal. There is no clear structure to guide the reader through the data, making the information feel like a list of isolated facts rather than a coherent report. You need to use linking words like 'whereas', 'in contrast', or 'by comparison' to connect your observations.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. You frequently use the same phrases ('the system is opened', 'the route is about', 'the passengers is') throughout the text. There are also errors in word choice, such as using 'motion' and 'rotation' instead of 'route' or 'length'. To reach a higher band, you should use a wider range of vocabulary to describe data, such as 'commenced operations', 'network length', or 'annual ridership'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The grammar is weak, with frequent errors in sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation. For example, 'The information is about the underground railway system' is a fragment, and 'the passengers is per year is 1191 millions' contains redundant verbs and incorrect pluralization. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the reliance on simple, error-prone sentences makes the writing difficult to follow. Focus on mastering basic sentence construction before attempting more complex forms.

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