Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The take below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Underground Railway Systems

City	Date opened	Kilometers of route	Passengers per year (in millions)
London	1863	394	775
Paris	1900	199	1191
Tokyo	1927	155	1927
Washington DC	1976	126	144
Kyoto	1981	11	45
Los Angeles	2001	28	50

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In this graph discuss about give information the underground railway station in six cities. Underground railway station are mainly to control the people and noise of people control them. Underground railway station are used mainly to collect them people safe zone in main city don't any issue the station and less risk of accident in underground station. No traffic in near roads around station. Weather, discuss about the cities that underground railway station starts. Firstly discuss them London, Paris and Tokyo. In London station open 1863, 394 kilometers of route and 775 million passenger travel per year and Paris, station opend 1900, 199 kilometers of route and 1191 million people travel to one place to another. And third one Tokyo station that opened 1927 and 155 kilometers was range and 1927 million passenger that was travel per year.

Then discuss about Washington DC, Kyoto and Los Angele. In Washington DC underground station opened 1976, 126 kilometers range and 144 million people travel. In Koyoto station open 1981, 11 km of route and 45 million passenger travel them every year last one is Los Angele was open in 2001 and 28 km of route and 50 million peoples travel them every year.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to provide an objective summary of the data. Instead of reporting the main features and making comparisons, you included irrelevant personal opinions about the benefits of underground systems, such as 'control the people and noise' and 'less risk of accident'. These points are not present in the table and are off-topic. While you did list the data for the six cities, you did not identify key trends or make meaningful comparisons between them, such as noting that London is the oldest system while Los Angeles is the newest, or that Tokyo has the highest passenger volume despite not being the largest in terms of route length.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The essay lacks a clear structure. The introduction is confusing and contains irrelevant information. While you have attempted to group the cities into two paragraphs, the transitions between sentences are repetitive and mechanical, often relying on 'discuss about' or 'and'. There is no clear logical progression or overview of the data. The use of cohesive devices is very limited and often inaccurate, which makes the text difficult to follow. To improve, focus on using linking words like 'whereas', 'in contrast', or 'by comparison' to connect your ideas and data points more effectively.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is very basic and repetitive. You frequently use the same phrases, such as 'station open' and 'kilometers of route', throughout the text. There are also significant issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'collect them people safe zone' and '155 kilometers was range'. The language used is not appropriate for an academic report, as it lacks the precision required to describe statistical data. You need to expand your range of vocabulary to include terms related to data analysis, such as 'commuters', 'span', 'inaugurated', and 'surpassed'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammar is weak, with frequent errors that often impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Underground railway station are'), missing articles, and incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'station opend 1900'). Sentence structures are simple and often fragmented or run-on. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the errors in basic grammar are pervasive throughout the response. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree, and using correct prepositions and articles consistently.

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