Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The take below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Underground Railway Systems
City Date opened Kilometers of route Passengers per year (in millions) London 1863 394 775 Paris 1900 199 1191 Tokyo 1927 155 1927 Washington DC 1976 126 144 Kyoto 1981 11 45 Los Angeles 2001 28 50
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Above mentioned statement is about the railway system in understand according to the table the data opened for London city is 1863, Paris is 1900 tokyo is 1979 Washington DC 1976 ,Kyoto is 1981 and Los Angeles is 2001 .if we see the kilometers of route is London is highest in number as 394 km and passenger per year us 775 after that 199 km for Paris in which people per years are 1191 second highest number Tokyo number per passenger is highest o e that is 1927 and it's km route is 155 if we check the number of Washington DC it's km is 126 and passenger are very low 144 per per year after that the lowest number is 11 km with passenger per years are 45 and after that Los Angeles 50 passenger per per with 28 km route
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you have identified the main features of the table, the presentation is disorganized and lacks a clear overview or summary. You have listed the data for each city sequentially rather than grouping or comparing them effectively. Furthermore, there are factual errors in your reporting, such as stating Tokyo opened in 1979 instead of 1927. To improve, you must provide a clear introductory summary, group the cities by trends (e.g., oldest vs. newest, highest vs. lowest usage), and ensure all data points are accurate.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The text lacks paragraphing, which makes it difficult to follow. There is no clear logical progression; instead, the response reads like a list of data points strung together with repetitive phrases like 'after that' and 'if we see'. Cohesive devices are largely absent or misused, leading to a disjointed flow. To achieve a higher band, you should organize your report into clear paragraphs: an introduction, an overview of the main trends, and two body paragraphs comparing specific data points. Using a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'In contrast', 'Furthermore', 'Conversely') would significantly improve the structure.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'number' and 'people per years' (instead of 'passengers'). There is a lack of variety in reporting verbs or comparative language. For instance, instead of saying 'London is highest in number', you should use more precise academic vocabulary such as 'London possesses the most extensive network'. The errors in terminology, such as 'data opened' instead of 'date opened', also hinder the professional tone required for an Academic Task 1 response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede readability. There is a lack of punctuation, and many sentences are run-on or fragmented, such as 'if we see the kilometers of route is London is highest in number as 394 km and passenger per year us 775'. The sentence structures are simplistic and often grammatically incorrect. You need to focus on basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of prepositions. The absence of full stops and capital letters makes the text appear unfinished and unprofessional.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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