Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The take below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Underground Railway Systems

City	Date opened	Kilometers of route	Passengers per year (in millions)
London	1863	394	775
Paris	1900	199	1191
Tokyo	1927	155	1927
Washington DC	1976	126	144
Kyoto	1981	11	45
Los Angeles	2001	28	50

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The underground railway systems of six cities has a big difference Tokyo has a large amount of passengers per year. While Kyoto has the small amount of passengers per year.

Paris and Tokyo got a good amount passengers per year. However the London route complete 394 kilometer. But the passengers amount is quite normal rather than in Tokyo and Paris.

Kyoto has least passengers amount and route rather than other cities. Los Angeles cover 28 routes with 50 million passengers per year. These both cities have a minimum amout of routes that's why people do not go from these stations.

Overall, London has maximum routes for there passengers and Kyoto has minimum routes.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response attempts to cover the main features of the underground railway systems across the six cities, mentioning dates and figures such as London's 394 kilometers and Tokyo's passenger volume. However, the task achievement is significantly undermined by two main factors. First, the text is severely under-length, containing only 113 words against the required 150-word minimum, which leads to an automatic penalty. Second, the data interpretation contains several factual inaccuracies; for instance, the writer claims Tokyo has 1927 passengers per year, confusing the opening year of 1927 with the passenger figure of 1,927 million, and makes unsupported claims like 'people do not go from these stations' regarding Kyoto and Los Angeles. Consequently, key comparisons are weak and underdeveloped.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The text is organized into four very brief paragraphs, but the logical progression and overall coherence are heavily disrupted by poor sentence structuring and abrupt transitions. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or incorrectly, such as the sudden shift from Paris and Tokyo to London using 'However the London route complete 394 kilometer. But the passengers amount is quite normal...' Pronoun referencing and linking between sentences are frequently faulty, making it difficult to follow the comparisons between the cities. Paragraphing is attempted, but the paragraphs lack internal unity and clear thematic focus.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The lexical range is very basic and repetitive, frequently reusing terms like 'passengers', 'per year', 'route', and 'cities'. There are notable word choice and collocation errors throughout the text, such as 'the small amount of passengers', 'got a good amount passengers', and 'the London route complete 394 kilometer'. Additionally, the misreading of the table data leads to awkward expressions like 'Tokyo has a large amount of passengers' where numbers are confused. Spelling is generally acceptable, but the overall vocabulary lacks the precision, variety, and flexibility required for Academic Task 1.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting mostly of simple and poorly constructed compound sentences. There are frequent, noticeable grammatical errors that disrupt communication, including subject-verb agreement issues ('The underground railway systems... has', 'Kyoto has least passengers amount'), missing articles ('Tokyo has a large amount... While Kyoto has the small amount'), incorrect verb tenses ('route complete'), and punctuation mistakes. Complex structures are virtually absent, and the persistent errors throughout the short text demonstrate weak control over basic grammatical forms.

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