Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The take below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Underground Railway Systems
City Date opened Kilometers of route Passengers per year (in millions) London 1863 394 775 Paris 1900 199 1191 Tokyo 1927 155 1927 Washington DC 1976 126 144 Kyoto 1981 11 45 Los Angeles 2001 28 50
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The table shows the information about the underground railway systems in six cities (London, Paris, Tokyo, Washington DC, Kyoto, Los Angeles).
Overall, the table consists of four columns which shows the information that when did the railway opened? It's kilometers of route and passengers who had traveled per year (in millions).
In its initial, it gives information about London city. It's underground railway opened in 1863. Distance of this railway were 394 kilometers of route. 775 passenger's traveled from this railway per year.
Afterwards, railway of Paris city is mentioned. It opened in 1900 and it's kilometers of route were 199. Total 1191 passengers used it for traveling purpose per year.
In addition, Tokyo is given. Tokyo's railway had been opened in 1927 and it's kilometers of routes were 155. 1927 passengers traveled from this railway.
Moreover, Washington DC's railway had been opened in 1976. It had 126 kilometers of route and 144 passengers used it per year.
Furthermore, Kyoto's railway information is given. It had been opened in 1981 and it had 11 kilometers of route. 45 passengers per year traveled from it.
Last but not the least, Los Angeles opened in 2001. It had 28 kilometers of routes and 50 passengers per year used it for traveling.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response responds to the task only minimally and fails to provide a proper overview or make the required comparisons. Instead of summarising and grouping the data effectively, the writer lists the details of each city one by one in a mechanical fashion, beginning each sentence with a new city name. Furthermore, the statistics for passenger numbers are misreported or misunderstood in several places, such as stating that '1927 passengers traveled' for Tokyo when the table clearly shows 1927 million passengers per year. To reach a higher standard, the response must present a clear overall trend and integrate meaningful comparisons between the cities rather than mechanically working down the rows of the table.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
There is some basic organisation in the text, as each city is given its own separate paragraph or section, creating a basic sequential flow. However, there is no clear overall progression or thematic connection between these sections. Cohesive devices are repetitive and mechanistic, relying heavily on transitional phrases like 'Afterwards', 'In addition', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore' to link the individual descriptions. Paragraphing is also poorly handled, with single-sentence paragraphs used excessively rather than grouping related ideas together logically. To improve cohesion, the writer should use a wider variety of referencing and grouping strategies to connect the data naturally without relying on rigid list-like transitions.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used throughout the response is basic, repetitive, and occasionally inaccurate. Words such as 'city', 'railway', and 'route' are repeated frequently without synonyms or paraphrasing. There are also notable lexical inaccuracies regarding the data, such as writing '1927 passengers' instead of millions, and awkward phrasing like 'traveling purpose'. Spelling and word formation are generally basic, though they do not completely impede communication. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary, including synonyms and less common lexical items related to data reporting and transportation, while ensuring precise word choice.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent errors in basic grammar, punctuation, and agreement. Examples of errors include 'shows the information that when did the railway opened?', 'Distance of this railway were 394 kilometers', and 'Tokyo's railway had been opened'. Articles and plurals are also mishandled, such as '775 passenger's traveled'. Attempts at complex structures are flawed, and these frequent errors cause noticeable difficulty for the reader. To improve, the writer must focus on mastering basic sentence structures, verb tenses for historical data, subject-verb agreement, and accurate punctuation.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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