Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The take below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Underground Railway Systems

City	Date opened	Kilometers of route	Passengers per year (in millions)
London	1863	394	775
Paris	1900	199	1191
Tokyo	1927	155	1927
Washington DC	1976	126	144
Kyoto	1981	11	45
Los Angeles	2001	28	50

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given bar chat elucidates information about underground railway station. The chart compares different categories and presents the data opened and kilometers of route and city and passengers per year. According to the chart there are noticiable different among the categories shown in the chart. Lodon city opened date 1863 kilometers of route 394 and passengers per year is 775. Paris city opened date 1900 kilometers of route is 199 and passengers per year is 1191. Tokyo city opened date 1927 and kilometers of route is 155 and passengers per year is 1927 . Washington city opened date is 1976 kilometers of route 126 and passengers per year is 144 .Kyoto city opened date is 1981 kilometers of route 11 and passengers per year is 45 .Los angeles opened date is 2001 kilometers of route 28 and passengers per year is 50 .This chat show the difference among the chart

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response responds to the task only minimally. The writer identifies the general topic from the table, but fails to provide a proper summary of the main features or make meaningful comparisons between the cities. Instead of synthesizing the data or grouping cities by similar characteristics, the text relies on a mechanical, list-like presentation of raw figures for each city individually. Phrases like 'Lodon city opened date 1863 kilometers of route 394' show a lack of structured reporting, and the opening statement incorrectly refers to the stimulus as a 'bar chat'. To move forward, you need to select key trends, such as identifying which city has the oldest system or the highest passenger volume, and group the data logically instead of listing every single statistic.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

Information and ideas are not arranged coherently in this response. There is no paragraphing used at all; the entire summary is crammed into a single block of text. Furthermore, the progression of ideas is absent because the writing simply jumps from one city to the next in a repetitive pattern using identical sentence frames. Cohesive devices are largely missing or inaccurate, resulting in a mechanical feel. For example, sentences are joined clumsily with repeated conjunctions or lack transitional phrases entirely. To improve in this area, you must organize your writing into distinct paragraphs, such as an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs, while using appropriate linking words to connect your sentences smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive throughout the response. The student relies heavily on repeating the exact same words and phrases from the prompt, such as 'opened date', 'kilometers of route', and 'passengers per year', without attempting any synonyms or paraphrasing. There are also several spelling errors, such as 'chat' instead of 'chart' and 'noticiable different' instead of 'noticeable difference', along with typos like 'Lodon'. Because the range of vocabulary is severely restricted and repetitive, it strains the reader and restricts the quality of the response. To progress, you should actively learn and apply a wider variety of synonyms and reporting verbs, such as 'commenced', 'network length', and 'annual ridership'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is very limited, consisting almost entirely of simple, repetitive kernel sentences rather than a mix of simple and complex structures. There are frequent errors in basic sentence construction, missing verbs, and prepositions, such as in 'According to the chart there are noticiable different among the categories' and the fragmented style of listing data like 'Lodon city opened date 1863 kilometers of route 394 and passengers per year is 775.' Punctuation is also poorly handled, with missing full stops in places and unnecessary spaces before punctuation marks. To achieve a higher band, you need to demonstrate control over complex sentence structures, ensure every sentence has a complete and correct verb phrase, and eliminate basic structural errors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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