Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The take below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Underground Railway Systems
City Date opened Kilometers of route Passengers per year (in millions) London 1863 394 775 Paris 1900 199 1191 Tokyo 1927 155 1927 Washington DC 1976 126 144 Kyoto 1981 11 45 Los Angeles 2001 28 50
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In the given chart the underground railway system has shown of six cities.
It is evident that Tokyo city and Paris have the most Passengers who travels through the Underground Railway System while London is following them respectively whereas the rest cities number dramatically went down.
Turning to the details, Tokyo had recorded the most passengers who travelled through this Railway system with the number the of 1927 million per year whereas it had only 155 kilometers of the route, Paris Underground Railway System was the second city where most passengers were travelling through this which was 1191 million with the Kilometers route of 199, but there is one more difference in both the railway system Tokyo Railway System was built in 1927 while the Paris underground Railway System is the older which was built in 1900.
While London Railway System was the only system which made before of all the Railway Systems which was built in year 1863, but it carries only 775 million passengers per year.
Whereas in rest the all cities the average of passengers dramatically decreased with the numbers of 144, 45 and 50 million per year.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response makes an attempt to summarise the data provided in the table, presenting an overview of the underground railway systems across six cities. However, the task is only partially addressed because the selection of main features lacks clarity, and some key comparisons are missed or inaccurate. For instance, the student states that Tokyo and Paris have the most passengers, which is true, but then struggles to synthesize the overarching relationships between age, route length, and passenger numbers. Additionally, the phrase 'whereas the rest cities number dramatically went down' is vague and fails to properly report the specific figures for Washington DC, Kyoto, and Los Angeles. To reach a higher level, the response should present a clearer overview of all prominent trends, such as contrasting the oldest systems like London with the busiest ones like Tokyo, while ensuring all data points are accurately compared.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay displays some overall organization by dividing the introduction, body details, and concluding remarks into separate paragraphs. However, there is a lack of clear progression, and the logical flow between ideas is frequently disrupted by awkward phrasing and run-on sentences. Cohesive devices are used rather mechanically and sometimes inaccurately, such as the repetitive use of 'whereas' and 'while' to link dissimilar clauses without establishing a smooth logical relationship. For example, the sentence starting with 'While London Railway System was the only system...' rambles without a clear contrasting main clause. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion is weak. To improve, the writer needs to employ a wider variety of accurate cohesive devices and ensure that each sentence logically builds upon the previous one to maintain a seamless narrative of the data.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task. While the student attempts some less common vocabulary related to data reporting, such as 'dramatically decreased' and 'passengers per year', there are noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word form that occasionally impede communication. Examples of awkward lexical choices include 'the rest cities number' instead of 'the figures for the remaining cities' and 'the number the of 1927 million'. Furthermore, phrases like 'London is following them respectively' demonstrate an unnatural collocation and misunderstanding of how to use 'respectively'. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to incorporate a wider and more precise range of vocabulary, avoiding repetitive phrasing and ensuring that all lexical items collocate naturally in an academic context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response relies heavily on a limited range of sentence structures, and attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, leading to frequent grammatical errors. There are notable issues with prepositions, articles, and verb tenses, such as 'the underground railway system has shown of six cities' and 'made before of all the Railway Systems which was built in year 1863'. Punctuation control is also weak, resulting in excessively long, run-on sentences that lack necessary commas or full stops. Subject-verb agreement errors, such as 'Tokyo city and Paris have... while London is following', further detract from grammatical control. To progress, the student must focus on reducing basic structural errors, improving control over complex sentence patterns, and using accurate tense forms when describing historical data.
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