Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The take below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Underground Railway Systems
City Date opened Kilometers of route Passengers per year (in millions) London 1863 394 775 Paris 1900 199 1191 Tokyo 1927 155 1927 Washington DC 1976 126 144 Kyoto 1981 11 45 Los Angeles 2001 28 50
Student answer (Band 4.5)
This is the information about the underground railway system in six cities that are mentioned in given chart, I try to summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and also i make comparisions where relevent.
The first train that are started in tokyo in 1927 that cover the route of 155 kilometers and this train have a passenger 1927 per year in a millions and this train covers larger number of passenger and the other train is in kyoto that are opened in 1981 and it cover 11 kilometer and that have 45 passanger per year in millions and that have the lowest number of passengers.
And the train paris are opened in 1900 and cover 199 kilometers and passengers 1191 oer year and london city train are open in 1863 and cover 394 kilometers and passangers 775 millions per year and washington DC are opened in 1976 ande cover 11 kilometer and 45 passsenger per year in millions and los Angeles are started in 2001 and it is the train that are started at last and it cover 28 kilometer and have 50 millions passengers in per year
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response attempts to address the task by mentioning some cities and data from the table, such as Tokyo in 1927 and Kyoto opening in 1981. However, the information presented is inaccurate in places—for example, the student states that Tokyo has a passenger count of '1927 per year in a millions', which confuses the opening year with the passenger data. Furthermore, comparisons are minimal and basic, and parts of the data are omitted or incorrectly attributed. The writing tends to list random details rather than presenting a well-structured overview of the main features. To improve, you should carefully read and report the data accurately without confusing years and figures, and ensure that clear comparisons are made across all the cities provided in the table.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
Information and ideas are not arranged coherently in this response. The text is divided into three lengthy blocks of text that read more like run-on sentences than structured paragraphs. There is a lack of logical progression, and the connections between ideas are weak and repetitive, relying heavily on consecutive 'and' conjunctions. For instance, the second paragraph links multiple disparate data points into a single, confusing sentence without clear cohesive devices or appropriate referencing. To achieve a higher band, you must organise your report into logical paragraphs—typically an introduction, an overview, and detailed body paragraphs—and use a wider range of cohesive devices to guide the reader smoothly through the comparisons.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, frequently relying on simple terms like 'train', 'city', 'cover', and 'passanger' (which also contains a spelling error). There are noticeable errors in word form, choice, and spelling, such as 'relevent', 'passanger', and 'oer'. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey basic numbers, it is constrained and lacks the flexibility needed to discuss statistical data effectively. To improve, you should expand your vocabulary to include precise synonyms and reporting verbs, such as 'inaugurated', 'network', 'annual ridership', and 'span', rather than repeating the same basic words throughout the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mainly of overly long, poorly controlled sentences linked by 'and'. There are frequent errors in basic sentence structure, verb forms, and agreement, such as 'The first train that are started', 'this train have a passenger', and 'washington DC are opened in 1976 ande cover 11 kilometer and 45 passsenger'. Punctuation is also poorly managed, with missing capitalisation and run-on structures that obscure the meaning. To reach a higher standard, you need to practice forming shorter, accurate simple and complex sentences, paying close attention to subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and correct article usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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