Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The take below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Underground Railway Systems

City	Date opened	Kilometers of route	Passengers per year (in millions)
London	1863	394	775
Paris	1900	199	1191
Tokyo	1927	155	1927
Washington DC	1976	126	144
Kyoto	1981	11	45
Los Angeles	2001	28	50

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The comparison below show information about the six cities underground railway.

Overall. there are the six major cities overall the world Tokyo had alot of passengers in a year although Kyoto had the lowest passengers per year. London had the moderate quantity of passengers on the other side Paris had a between London and Tokyo level of passengers.Washington DC has so less passengers and Los Angeles were the same to Kyoto.

Furthermore, Tokyo starts their underground train in 1927 or the result is impressive that route in kilometer was 199 and number of passengers in year was 1927 million. although Kyoto has the lowest passenger in year only 45 million people traveled.

Morover, Paris underground railway introduced in 1900 and that make a long route 199 kilometers and they served 1191 person in year although london introduced their ungerground raillway in 1863 and they gave service 775 million passenger in a year.

In addition, Washington DC came in 1976 and route distent is 126 kilometers or gave service per year 144 million passengers or Los Angeles introduced in 2001 and make small route only 28 kilometers and passenger take a train only 50 million in a year

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify several relevant comparisons, including Tokyo as the busiest system and Kyoto as the least used, and you include figures for all six cities. However, the overview is unclear and contains a key factual error: Tokyo’s route is 155 km, not 199 km; 199 km belongs to Paris. The response also does not clearly highlight the main contrasts across all measures. For example, London has the longest route, while Tokyo has the highest annual passenger total, but these important features are not accurately brought together. Some figures are reported imprecisely, such as “1191 person” for Paris. To strengthen the summary, give a concise, accurate overview and compare the largest and smallest systems using the correct data.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an opening, an overview-like paragraph and further paragraphs containing details, so there is an attempt to organise the information. It also uses linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “Moreover” and “In addition.” However, the progression is difficult to follow because comparisons are mixed together without a consistent pattern, and some links do not show a clear relationship. The overview moves abruptly from Tokyo and Kyoto to London, Paris and the other cities, while later paragraphs shift between opening dates, route lengths and passenger totals. Several sentences are joined by repeated “or” and “although,” which makes the connections confusing. Grouping the systems by notable features, and using clearer transitions between comparisons, would make the information easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “underground railway,” “route,” “passengers” and “introduced,” and the reader can generally identify the topic of each sentence. However, the vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and several word choices or collocations make the meaning awkward. Phrases such as “moderate quantity of passengers,” “a between London and Tokyo level” and “gave service” are not natural ways to describe the data. There are also spelling errors, including “Morover,” “distent” and “ungerground.” Use precise terms such as “annual ridership,” “route length” and “carried” or “served” passengers, and check spelling carefully. This would make the comparisons clearer and more appropriate for an academic summary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to form longer sentences and use contrast clauses, for example, “although Kyoto has the lowest passenger in year…” This shows an effort to connect ideas, but sentence structures are often faulty and the range remains limited. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in “The comparison below show” and “Los Angeles were the same to Kyoto.” Articles and sentence boundaries are also problematic, as in “Overall. there are the six major cities,” while several clauses are joined with “or” in ways that obscure their grammatical relationship. These errors frequently make the reader work to understand the intended comparison. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses using “while” or “whereas,” checking agreement, articles and punctuation.

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