Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The take below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Underground Railway Systems

City	Date opened	Kilometers of route	Passengers per year (in millions)
London	1863	394	775
Paris	1900	199	1191
Tokyo	1927	155	1927
Washington DC	1976	126	144
Kyoto	1981	11	45
Los Angeles	2001	28	50

Student answer (Band 4.5)

First Era:

Under ground railway system is the main point of this paragraph. In early centeries railway system was started in 1863 of 394 kilometrs which contains 775 passangers per year. It was very technial work to spread it around all cities but is was slow and very usefull for people living in these cities.

2nd Era:

Ater that at Paris in 1900 a new railway trace wa applied of about 199 kilometers that countain 1191 passangers per year.

3rd Era:In 1927 a railway route that ways smaller in lenth but countains about 1927 passangers per year and got the reward of largest countaing passangers.

4th Era:

Washinton DC is the state of america but in 1976 a railway of 126 km was bulid that countain only a 26 passangers at one time .

As the centery was going a new tecnologies are also coming day by day. At kyoto in 1981 only a 11 km trace was bulid the was the samllest trace among all of these that countain a 45 peoples per year.

At last Los Angeles has only 28 km trace for 28 people per millions

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies several relevant figures, including London’s 1863 opening and 394-kilometre route, Tokyo’s high passenger total, and Kyoto’s short route. However, it reports the data selectively and inaccurately: Washington DC is said to carry “only a 26 passangers” rather than 144 million annually, and Los Angeles is described as serving “28 people per millions” instead of 50 million passengers per year. There is no clear overview of the main comparisons, such as London having the oldest and longest system while Tokyo has the most passengers. Some commentary about technology and usefulness is not supported by the table. To improve, give an accurate overview and compare the key extremes before presenting selected details.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The numbered “Era” labels provide a basic sequence through the cities, and the response generally follows the order of the table. However, this chronological listing does not create a clear overview or a well-developed progression of comparisons. The paragraph breaks are inconsistent, and the final entries are joined without a clear transition. Phrases such as “As the centery was going” do not clearly connect the ideas, while “First Era” and “2nd Era” are not useful categories for comparing the data. Organise the report into an overview followed by grouped comparisons—for example, older, larger systems and newer, smaller ones—and use linking phrases to show contrasts.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some task-related vocabulary, including “railway route,” “kilometers,” and “passengers per year,” so the reader can recognise the subject. However, the range is basic and several inaccurate or misspelled choices make the data difficult to interpret: “trace” is used for a route, “countain” for carry, and “largest countaing passangers” for the highest passenger total. “First Era” and “2nd Era” also sound unsuitable for describing the table. Aim for precise, repeated-use terms such as “underground system,” “route length,” and “annual passenger numbers.” Careful spelling and natural collocations will make the comparisons clearer and more appropriate for an academic report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

Most sentences rely on simple patterns, and attempts to add clauses are often difficult to follow. For example, “In early centeries railway system was started in 1863 of 394 kilometrs which contains 775 passangers per year” has unclear sentence structure and inconsistent tense. The response also has problems with articles and agreement, as in “a new railway trace wa applied” and “a railway of 126 km was bulid that countain.” Punctuation is inconsistent, particularly around headings and sentence boundaries. These errors sometimes obscure relationships between the figures. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses: for example, “Opened in 1927, Tokyo’s system carries 1,927 million passengers annually.”

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