Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The take below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Underground Railway Systems

City	Date opened	Kilometers of route	Passengers per year (in millions)
London	1863	394	775
Paris	1900	199	1191
Tokyo	1927	155	1927
Washington DC	1976	126	144
Kyoto	1981	11	45
Los Angeles	2001	28	50

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Firstly,I talk about the city of London underground railway systems its opened date is 1863 and the route is 394km and the passenger traveled in this route per year is 775 millions. secondly,Paris the underground railway opened systems is 1900 and the route is 199km and the passenger used this route 1191 in per year.Thirdly,Tokyo and its railway system opened date is 1927 and route is 155 kilometer long and 1927 millions passengers traveled in per year.forthly Washington DC its railway systems opened date is 1976 and its a 126 kilometer long route and 144 millions passenger traveled in per year.therefore,Kyoto railway systems its opened date is 1981 and 11 kilometer long route and 45 million passenger traveled in per year.At the end,Los Angeles railway system its opened date is 2001 and 28 kilometer lon route and 50 million passenger traveled in per year.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You include all six cities and report the opening dates, route lengths and annual passenger figures, so the response contains relevant information from the table. However, it mainly lists figures one by one and does not identify the key overall features or make meaningful comparisons—for example, London has the longest route, while Tokyo carries the most passengers. The overview and selection of main features are therefore very limited. The response also falls six words short of the required 150 words. To improve, add a clear overview and compare the extremes or notable contrasts, such as the older, larger systems and the newer, shorter ones.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The city-by-city sequence gives the reader a basic order, and words such as “Firstly,” “secondly,” and “At the end” signal progression. However, the response is presented as one long paragraph, and the repeated listing pattern does not create a clear overview followed by organised supporting details. Some linking words are also used mechanically: “therefore” does not show a logical consequence before the Kyoto figures, and “At the end” is an awkward way to introduce the final city. Grouping the information into an overview and one or two comparison-focused paragraphs, with more purposeful transitions, would make the progression clearer and reduce repetition.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the basic table information, with relevant terms such as “route,” “opened date,” and “passengers.” However, the range is limited and several expressions are repetitive or imprecise, including “the passenger traveled in this route per year” and “railway systems opened date.” There are also noticeable word-form and spelling problems, such as “lon” and “millions passenger,” which make the writing less natural. Use concise, accurate collocations such as “annual passenger numbers,” “the system opened,” and “the route extends for.” This would allow you to report the data more clearly and make comparisons without repeatedly using the same sentence pattern.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response relies almost entirely on simple sentence patterns, often joining several pieces of information with “and,” so there is little variety in structure. Errors are frequent, including missing or misplaced articles and possessives in “London underground railway systems its opened date,” and incorrect sentence construction in “Paris the underground railway opened systems is 1900.” Singular and plural forms are also inconsistent, as in “144 millions passenger.” Punctuation and spacing are weak: there is no space after several commas, and the city descriptions run together without clear sentence boundaries. Practise forming complete sentences with accurate subjects and verbs, and use a small range of comparison structures, such as “Although…” and “whereas…”.

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