Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The take below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Underground Railway Systems

City	Date opened	Kilometers of route	Passengers per year (in millions)
London	1863	394	775
Paris	1900	199	1191
Tokyo	1927	155	1927
Washington DC	1976	126	144
Kyoto	1981	11	45
Los Angeles	2001	28	50

Student answer (Band 4.5)

London underground railway system was opened back in 1863. Total kilometers of this london railway system is around 394 kilometers and it carries around 775 million passengers per year. Now lets talk aboout one of the oldest underground railway system in the world loacted in France Paris opened in 1900. Although it is not long as london its only 199 kilometers but surprisly it carries more passengers then london railway system which is around 1191 million passengers per year.

Paris railway system is one of the second largest railway system in terms of carrying passengers per year. Lets talk about which railway system carries the most amount of passengers per year located is japan and biggest metropline cites in the world tokyo. Tokyo Railway Systems opened in 1927 and is 155 kilometers long. Matter of the fact is that Tokey railway system most amount of passengers per year around 1927 Million passengers. One unique fact is that this railway system was open in 1927 and today it carries some number of passengers per year but its 1927 million people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You report several relevant figures for London, Paris and Tokyo, and you make useful comparisons, such as Paris carrying more passengers than London despite having a shorter route. However, the response covers only three of the six cities, leaving Washington DC, Kyoto and Los Angeles unreported. It also lacks a clear overview of the main patterns across the table, such as London having the longest route and Tokyo the highest annual passenger total. Some statements are inaccurate or unclear: calling Paris “one of the second largest” systems does not identify a meaningful ranking, and the repeated comment about Tokyo adds little. To improve, summarise the overall extremes first, then compare all six systems accurately and selectively.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic sequence, moving from London to Paris and then Tokyo, and phrases such as “Although” and “Lets talk about” attempt to connect ideas. However, the progression is limited because the final three cities are omitted and there is no overview to guide the reader through the main comparisons. Several transitions are conversational or repetitive, particularly the repeated “Lets talk about,” while the final two sentences repeat Tokyo’s opening date and passenger figure rather than advancing the report. Paragraphing does not clearly separate an overview from supporting details. Organise the response around a brief overview followed by grouped comparisons, and use concise links that show contrast or ranking.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “kilometers,” “passengers per year,” “opened,” and “carries,” so the main subject is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several expressions are imprecise or awkward, such as “biggest metropline cites,” “most amount of passengers,” and “one of the second largest.” Spelling errors—including “aboout,” “loacted,” “surprisly,” and “Tokey”—also make the writing less controlled. Repetition of “railway system” and “passengers per year” reduces variety. Aim for accurate, neutral report language and use terms such as “route length,” “annual ridership,” and “the highest figure” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentence forms, including the contrast beginning “Although it is not long as London,” and most of the basic information can be understood. However, the range is limited, and complex attempts are often faulty. For example, “Although it is not long as London its only 199 kilometers” lacks “as” in the comparison and needs clearer clause punctuation; “which is around 1191 million passengers per year” is also an unclear relative clause. There are recurring problems with articles, agreement and sentence boundaries, as in “one of the oldest underground railway system” and “the fact is that Tokey railway system most amount.” Practise accurate comparative structures and complete, well-punctuated sentences.

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