Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

No doubt, wealth is a blessing of Allah Almighty. it increased the chance to help others, if you are a rich person. I strongly agree that if you are a wealthy human being So, you can easily help others.

To begin with, Nowadays, everyonw wants to become a rich person because without wealth no one give you importance. So, wealth creates many opperunities to help others. For instance, if you are a wealthy person, you can buy some clothes for poor people, you buy some foods for needy people. No doubt, rich person have many chances. Rich person also buy a house for someone who really need. Today wealth is a necessary of everyone. Every person wants to earn more and more because without money, you are nothing is this world.

Moreover, if you are a wealthy person, you can easily make a orphan house. Where orphans live, eat and drink. For example, Abdul Sattar Edhi late, he was a humantarian. He devoted his entire life to helping the poor, needy people and also gave them shelters. He also made Ambulance service which is the biggest one in the Asia. So, there are many rich people in the world who always ready to help others through money, time and many other things. Water filteration plant is also today necessory and rich person can do easily for needy people because nowadays under water is so much polluted.

In conclusion, without wealth its not easy to help someone because you do not buy or purchase anything without money for any person. If you are a rich so, you can easily help others through money, food and clothes.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that wealth enables people to help others, and the examples of buying food and clothes, supporting an orphanage, and funding a water-filtration plant are relevant. The reference to Abdul Sattar Edhi also gives the discussion a specific example. However, the response mainly explains ways rich people can help; it does not fully examine whether helping others is the most important thing about being rich, or acknowledge other possible benefits. Several points are asserted rather than explained—for example, that wealth makes people important and that money is necessary to help. To strengthen the response, address the wording “most important” directly and develop fewer examples by explaining their impact.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “To begin with” and “Moreover,” and a conclusion. The examples generally relate to the main idea, so the reader can follow the overall argument. However, progression within paragraphs is often repetitive: several sentences repeat that rich people can help, without adding a new step to the reasoning. Some links are awkward or unclear, such as “Where orphans live, eat and drink,” which is not smoothly connected to the preceding sentence. The conclusion also repeats the introduction rather than drawing together the main points. Organise each paragraph around one developed reason, and use clearer links between claims, examples, and their significance.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “wealth,” “needy,” “humanitarian,” “shelters,” and “polluted,” and the reader can generally understand your intended meaning. However, the range is limited by repeated use of “rich person,” “help others,” and “wealth,” while several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural. Examples include “wealth is a necessary of everyone,” “make a orphan house,” and “under water is so much polluted.” There are also spelling errors such as “opperunities,” “humantarian,” and “necessory.” Build a wider set of precise expressions for charitable giving and social support, and check spelling and collocations so your ideas are conveyed more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

Most sentences use simple structures, and you attempt some longer forms with “because,” “if,” and “who,” as in “if you are a wealthy person, you can easily make a orphan house.” These attempts show some range, but complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors sometimes make the reader pause. Examples include “it increased the chance,” “no one give you importance,” and “rich person have many chances,” where verb forms or subject–verb agreement are incorrect. Sentence boundaries and capitalisation are also inconsistent, as in “To begin with, Nowadays” and “So, you can.” Practise accurate present-tense agreement, articles, and sentence punctuation, then use a few controlled complex sentences to explain how each example supports your position.

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