Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Rich people has the chance to help poor people and this people is helpful for needy people. I strongly agree that rich people benefits for individuals, society and well being of country.

One key reason is that rich people provide the job opportunities for the youth, because the countries who is not financially stable, they have the lowest employment ratio, and cannot created the job, in this way the unemployment ratio is higher. However, the business man invests his money in this countries and produced job opportunities and reduced the unemployment ratio by creating a new business. Rich man donate his money to the charity centres, who help the needed people and those people who cannot survived in society. They spent his money to childrens, women, man and older person. They educated the childrens for the well being of society. The patients who cannot afford the treatment and have not plenty of money, these centres help the patients to treatment his disease. For example, Al khidmat Foundation can collected the money world wild and spend this money for the well-being of Palastine people to meet his daily needs.

In addition, rich people misuse his power and oppession the middle class people and poor people. For the sake of earning more money, they break down the Government rule, such as; involved in the corrruption to earn illegical money. They became selfish and forget the well-being of country.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that rich people should be crucial for the society, by providing job opportunies, donating the money and helping the needy. However, earning more money can becoming a person in greedy nature.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that wealth can be valuable when used to help others, and you give relevant reasons, including creating jobs and supporting people through charities. The examples of employment and the Al Khidmat Foundation help connect your argument to practical outcomes. You also acknowledge a counterpoint—that wealthy people may misuse power—which shows awareness of a qualification to your view. However, this opposing point is brief and is not clearly reconciled with your main position. Some supporting ideas, such as educating children and treating patients, are listed rather than explained in detail. To strengthen the response, develop fewer examples more fully and clarify why the opportunity to help others is the most important aspect of being rich, rather than simply one benefit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, supporting paragraphs and a conclusion. The progression from job creation to charitable support, followed by a counterpoint, is generally understandable. However, the first main paragraph contains several different ideas in a long sequence, so the links between employment, donations, education and medical care are not always clear. Connectors such as “In addition” and “However” are used, but some transitions feel mechanical or do not clearly show the relationship between ideas. References such as “these people,” “these centres” and “this money” can also leave the reader unsure of the exact subject. Give each main idea a clearer paragraph focus, use linking phrases to show cause and contrast, and make references explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to wealth, employment and social support, including “job opportunities,” “unemployment ratio,” “charity centres” and “well-being.” This gives you enough language to communicate the main argument. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning less natural—for example, “rich people benefits,” “help the needed people,” and “earning more money can becoming a person in greedy nature.” Spelling errors such as “opportunies,” “corrruption” and “Palastine” also reduce accuracy. Build a bank of natural phrases for discussing social impact, and check word forms and spelling. More precise expressions would make your ideas clearer without requiring unnecessarily complex vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including explanations with “because” and a contrast introduced by “However.” This shows an effort to vary sentence structure. Some errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction nevertheless make parts of the response difficult to follow. For example, “Rich people has” should use a plural verb, while “countries who is” has mismatched agreement and an unsuitable relative pronoun. In “they cannot created the job,” the verb form is incorrect, and “these centres help the patients to treatment his disease” has problems with the infinitive and pronoun agreement. Practise checking each sentence’s subject and verb, then review verb patterns after “help,” “can” and “should.” Clearer sentence boundaries will also improve readability.

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