Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is truth that being rich is important has oppurtunity to help others. For example,if someone is sick and don't have money to get treatment so being rich we can help them to provide them better treatment.

With the help of money we can help the patient in surgery, purchasing them medicine if they can not afford money to buy or to do surgery.one of my relative was not able to do surgery of eye because they can't afford money so i helped her in being done her surgery. After surgery till her medication i helped her. being rich benefits to people if people stands with other when they really needs them. people can help by others by giving them foods,clothes which many people can't afford.Many people dont have money to buy medicines, to do surgery. rich people people should try to give money to the ill person specially cancer patient.because cancer treatment are very high cost many people die due to cancer because they dont have money to do treatment. we should try to give lots of money specially to cancer patient who cannot do traetment.In India about 2lac people die daily due to cancer.

In conclusion, people being rich can give bigger opportunity to cancer patient so i think it is important being rich.And also should try to give medicines to the sick person.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You take a relevant position: you agree that wealth creates opportunities to help people, and the examples of paying for an eye operation, medicines and cancer treatment support this view. However, the response addresses the question only partially because it focuses almost entirely on medical assistance and does not explain whether helping others is the most important benefit of being rich, or consider any other perspective. Several points are repeated rather than developed, and the claim that “2lac people die daily due to cancer” is not explained or connected clearly to your argument. The response is also 24 words below the required minimum. Develop a clear answer to “how important” this opportunity is, then extend your examples with explanation and ensure the response meets the task length.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: the response begins with your view, gives examples of helping sick people, and ends with a conclusion. The personal example about helping a relative provides a recognisable supporting point. However, most of the response is presented as one long paragraph, so the reader cannot easily distinguish the main argument, supporting examples and conclusion. Ideas also repeat—for instance, the need to pay for surgery and medicines is mentioned several times—without a clear progression. Linking phrases such as “For example,” “With the help of money” and “In conclusion” are present, but connections between individual claims are often unclear. Use separate paragraphs and organise the body around distinct reasons, with each example followed by an explanation of how it supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the central idea, including “treatment,” “surgery,” “medication,” “cancer patient” and “afford.” However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “money,” “help” and “do surgery.” Some choices and collocations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “being done her surgery,” “give them foods” and “bigger opportunity,” while spelling errors such as “oppurtunity” and “traetment” are noticeable. These issues sometimes make the reader pause to interpret your meaning. Build a wider set of precise expressions for financial support and healthcare, and check spelling and natural word combinations. For example, describe someone as “unable to afford treatment” rather than repeatedly saying they do not have money.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

Your response communicates its main message through some simple sentences and attempts longer structures, including “if someone is sick and don't have money to get treatment.” However, the range is limited, and complex sentences are often faulty. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in “people stands with other” and “cancer treatment are very high cost”; pronouns and sentence construction are also unclear in “i helped her in being done her surgery.” Punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent, with several sentences joined together or beginning with lowercase letters. These frequent problems can make parts of the response difficult to follow. Practise building accurate sentences with a clear subject and verb, and use full stops to separate complete ideas before attempting longer structures.

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