Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, money plays an important role in people lives. some peope believe that the greatest advantage of being wealthy is having the opportunity to help others. I partly agree with this statement because money can improve the lives of others, but it also provides financial security and comfort for individuals.

Rich people have more chance to support needy people and provide quality of lives. It support to homeless people and supply food, shelter, clothes as well as we can support children's`education. If we have money we can donate money to orphans and hospitals. However, People get chance to create job for unemployed people. For example, wealthy people can provide scholarships to poor students who cannot afford their education.

On the other hand, Money is not only important for helping others but also for improving our own lives. It provide financial stable security and easily afford better education, healthcare. If we have money it can fulfill our personal demands and also responsibilities. In addition, It helps to reduce financial stress and problems. However, money makes people life happy and easy as well as we can enjoy a comfotable and stable lifestyle. we don't have to worry about everything and don't have to sacrifies our demands. For instance, Having enough money allows people to take care of their families and deal with unexpected financial problems.

In conclusion, I partly agree that being rich provides a valuable opportunities to help others. howerver, monry is also essential for maintaining personal and family security and living comfortable.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you partly agree, recognising both the chance to help others and the value of personal security. You address both sides with relevant examples, including donations to hospitals and scholarships, as well as providing for family and unexpected costs. However, several points are asserted rather than explained. For example, the claim that money makes life “happy and easy” is broad, and the discussion of creating jobs is not developed to show how this compares with helping through donations. To strengthen the response, explain why helping others is—or is not—the most important benefit of wealth, and connect each example more directly to that judgement. This would make your argument more fully developed and consistently focused on the question’s emphasis on “most important.”

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, one paragraph about helping others, a contrasting paragraph about personal benefits, and a conclusion. The progression from one side of your position to the other is easy to follow, and examples generally appear in the relevant paragraphs. However, links between ideas are sometimes mechanical or unclear. “However” introduces points that do not clearly contrast with the preceding sentence, and repeated use of “If we have money” makes the development feel list-like. Some references, such as “It” in “It support to homeless people,” are also unclear. Use linking expressions according to the relationship between ideas, and organise each body paragraph around a main point followed by explanation and a connected example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “financial security,” “scholarships,” “unemployed,” and “unexpected financial problems.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and you attempt to discuss both charitable support and personal wellbeing. However, the range is limited in places, and inaccurate word forms, spelling, and collocations are noticeable. Examples include “provide quality of lives,” “financial stable security,” “comfotable,” and “monry.” Repetition of “money,” “help,” and “people” also limits precision. Build a wider set of natural phrases for discussing wealth and social contribution, and check spelling and collocations carefully. More precise wording would make your points clearer and help distinguish between donating, funding services, and creating employment.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including a conditional structure in “If we have money it can fulfill our personal demands” and a relative clause in “students who cannot afford their education.” This shows some range, but control is inconsistent, and errors occur often enough to make parts of the response difficult to read. For example, “It support” and “It provide” have subject–verb agreement errors, while “people lives” and “people life” show problems with possessives. Sentence boundaries and capitalization are also unreliable, as in “we don't have to worry” after a full stop and the lowercase “howerver” in the conclusion. Practise accurate agreement, possessive forms, articles, and punctuation, then proofread each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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