Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

nowadays,money plays an important role in our lives.some people believe that the main benefit if being wealthy is having the opportunity to help others .i partly agree with this view because wealth not only allows people to support others but also provides a financial security.

however rich people can help poor families otherwise people cant help general public.but when poor people face many problem and at that time help rich people and then they can provide food, clothes and education.also rich people can build school and colleges . therefore if they doing these things survive poor people and rich people create new option such as, they can provide scholarship to poor students and can get better opportunity.and others problem issues like , medical support eich people help poor patient and they can support hospitals in the people can receive better healthcare.

lastly ny personal opinion i always agree this view and i say this issues wealth guves people financial security.enjoy comfortable life they can fulfill their dreams.

however,rich people should provide them qith various opportunites and facilities in this way such as better opportunity they can start business and they can invest education and job opportunities for poor people.

as a result they will be able to support their families and live a better life .

and finally wealthy people should always stand beside ordinary people and help them whenever necessary.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You take a position by saying, “i partly agree,” and give relevant examples of how wealthy people can provide food, education, scholarships, and medical support. However, the position becomes inconsistent when you later say, “i always agree this view,” and much of the discussion lists possible forms of help rather than explaining why this is the most important benefit of wealth. The point about financial security and a comfortable life is introduced but not clearly compared with helping others. The response also does not meet the required minimum length, which limits the opportunity to develop and support your ideas. State your degree of agreement consistently, then explain and illustrate your main reasons in more depth.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into paragraphs, and linking expressions such as “however,” “therefore,” and “as a result” show an effort to connect ideas. The examples generally relate to helping people, but the progression is difficult to follow: the first body paragraph moves rapidly from poor families to schools, scholarships, and healthcare, while the next shifts to personal financial security and then back to helping others. Some links do not clearly express the relationship between ideas, and the conclusion is not clearly separated from the preceding discussion. Use one paragraph for each main reason, arrange examples in a logical order, and make each linking phrase accurately signal the connection.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the central topic, with relevant terms such as “financial security,” “scholarship,” “medical support,” and “healthcare.” However, the range is limited and several expressions are repetitive or imprecise, including repeated uses of “help,” “opportunity,” and “better.” Some word choices and spelling errors make parts harder to understand, for example “create new option,” “eich people,” and “wealth guves.” Aim for more precise collocations and check spelling carefully. You could describe wealthy people as “fund” or “provide” services, and refer to “low-income families” rather than repeatedly using “poor people.” This would make your examples clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a conditional idea beginning “when poor people face many problem,” and you use clauses to connect examples. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries can make meaning difficult to follow. For example, “if they doing these things survive poor people” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “rich people can build school and colleges” has agreement and plural-form problems. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, with several sentences beginning in lowercase or running together. Practise building accurate short sentences first, then combine them using correctly formed clauses.

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